A few weeks ago I learned how the U.S. dollar is backed by houses & land, and-

Aside from the obvious *how do you back value on something that is not yours*, this is really a crap strategy which founds itself on margenalizing others.

It's just so wonky to me.

If your economy would crash based on supplying free housing/mortgage, then it deserves to crash.

I just.. the more I learn about this nation the more I am apathetic to the flames.

& now that another housing bubble is about to pop, I'm just that's where bad planning gets you.

I just can't.

I am frustrated in too many ways.

I hate how much we've been lied to since pre-school.

I hate how everything seems to be built off of hurting others, then distracting folk by getting them to blame things on each different margenalized group.

Nothing is coherent.

Share your toys, but still others land.

Be nice to others, but execute genocide & eugenics.

Don't tell lies, but break treaties & favor untruthfull systems that profit off of the margenalization of others.

Especially as an autistic person, this is really difficult to navigate.

For months I've been trying to articulate how one of the most confusing parts about being autistic, and always looking for rules to found ourselves on js that we are taught very specific rules as kids & then we go out into the world to learn that none of them are practiced.

It very discombobulating.

Because What Do I Grab For

It's all air.
Nothing is consistent.
There are lies everywhere.
There are secrets & mishapen things that just want to hurt you, and

This is a part of why we are often so vulnerable.

For many of us, none of this makes sense.

So, yes.

We make our routines.

And yes, we create our bubbles.

And yes, we get lost in our "special intrests" & "hyper focuses"

Because that (and I'm crying at this point) is the only thing that makes sense.

That is the only thing that is solid.

And when we stim, albeit sometimes it can be scary, it is us trying to make something this is solid so that we know that we are here. And we know that there is a *this* that makes sense & that we can grasp hold to.

And when you see us spiraling & teetering so often to overload or meltdown it's because None Of This Makes Sense, and that's what we really need.

Ok. End rant. Spiral. Dump. Whatever this was.

Just my thoughts, I can't speak for anyone elses experiences.