Right.

I *wasn’t* born to be brave.

I was the child of Conservative
(capital) parents, and grew up in a 100% white middle-class environment. I didn’t know what gay was. I was *vaguely* aware that people could have different colour skin.

The phrase and indeed the concept of “sex change” was a topic of much hilarity on various sitcoms of the era.

People on telly would frequently refer to “darkies” and “queers” and that was Just How It Was.

I’m a cis*-white-straight* middle-class-high-income homeowner living in the East of England who can work from home and happens to have good and valuable IT skills due to a fluke in the education process.

My family are happy, fed, and safe.

* ish

So why the dribbling orange fuck am I so goddamn ANGRY all the time?

Oh, and sorry, I don’t know how to do all that “1/n” nonsense that lets you know how far you are in what might be a megathread.

I’m freeballing here.

I used to vote Tory.

My parents did, so I kinda did.

Well I didn’t “kinda vote Tory”, I kinda “voted Tory” if you get the difference.

I didn’t really think about it. I was young, and from a vaguely affluent background, and it appeared to be the obvious choice.

I might have voted when I was old enough, I honestly can’t remember.

The first votes I can remember casting on purpose were Tory votes, and cast on purpose.

See, by then I had aged enough to realise that what my parents had accomplished and/or amassed was part of the system, and they (and I) fell on the “right” side of the system for them to have a big house and for me to have all the Lego I could eat, 24/7.

And not that many years later I, as a young thrusting prick in the world of advertising in my mid-late 20s hitched my wagon once again to the FUCKonservatives because I thought “hey I’ve got all this. I want to keep having all of this. bugger everyone else!”

“If I don’t keep a tight hold on all of my *this*, then I might lose some of my *this*.

AND THAT SHALL NOT STAND.

SO FUCK ‘EM.”

Quoth I.

I’m going to tell you a thing that I did now, Twitter.

I would say “Don’t tell anyone!” but… this is Twitter, for fuck’s sake. I’m posting it so you *do* tell people.

That is *literally* the point.

Are you ready for the thing I did?

HINT: It was 2005.

I think some of you might have already have got there.

*deep breath*

*…*

Dude, are you going to…

*archer drinking gesture*