1) Reflecting on my last thread, I feel it’s important to note some things. The harsh consequences that were tied to my mistake were damaging to my self esteem. It was beyond me “learning my lesson”- I recognize that my parents had issues they were projecting on me, & it’s taken

2) me a few good years to unlearn a lot of toxicity that they were/are unaware of. I’m not saying I didn’t deserve to learn a lesson, bc I absolutely did, but it wasn’t handled properly. I also want to make it clear that I’m welll aware that I’m young & have a LOT to learn

3) Some things will never make sense to me unless I choose to be a mother myself, & even if I do, my experiences will differentiate from those of my own mother for an abundance of reasons (race, ethnicity, sexuality, & socioeconomic backround). Motherhood & parenting is so

4) nuanced. Even if I decided to raise my own as my mother raised me (like how parents often emulate their parents’ parenting style), the type of person my child would be, the partner I have, where we live, & more would significantly impact my experience as a mother

5) What I’m getting at is that parenting & family truly does not go as planned. My mother’s & grandmother’s teachings have made it glaringly clear that life simply does not go as planned. You may go into parenthood with as much knowledge as you’ve chosen to learn, & you may have

6) a vision for your family a year from then, 5 years out, 10 years, etc, but you (& your partner, if you aren’t a single parent bc I ain’t here for erasure of the single parent experience) are a wise (hopefully) human being tht is still learning new things day in & day out,

7) you are constantly evolving, changing, growing, & learning (hopefully), & you are trying to guide & mold this malluable, pure hearted tiny being into a moral, empathetic human that can successfully, independently nagivate this cruel world. You have years ahead of them & that

8) can be everything, bc you can see danger 10 feet ahead when they can only see 5 feet out. You can hear danger from miles away before they can recognize what sound even is. You are their compass, their guide, their protector. You are there to love & nourish them, & teach them

9) to do better than you. They will stumble & fall along the way, hurting others & themselves, but you are there to be their everything. Even when their social circle expands & they become their own person entirely, nature’s bioengineering of our complex minds has determined that

10) we shall always seek our parents’ approval, that their thumbs up is everything, & it’s heartbreaking when reality teaches us otherwise. Any parents reading this thread, or any soon to be parents, I’m pleading you to just listen & keep an open mind. Be self aware. Every day, I

11) sit here & observe life through as may lenses as I can. I’m undoing generational trauma. I’m breaking all the curses & problematic binds that tie me to harmful ideals, ones that perpetuate toxicity in my home environment. I’m lucky my mother is working on undoing her

12) generational trauma too, but I see so many parents that aren’t. I don’t talk about my dad much bc he is not on the same path my mother & I are on, so I am well aware of the effects of living in a household with an adult that is emotionally immature. Please learn to walk with