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I've seen a lot of people discussing how worried they are about how you can be a mom and an academic on here today. I was worried about the same thing as a first-year masters' student.
I want to share the advice I got from my female professors at the time:
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I want to share the advice I got from my female professors at the time:
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She was a professor in I/O Psychology and had been working in industry as an HR professional for several years before rejoining the academy in a professor role. She had two elementary-aged kids when I knew her.
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When I said that I really wanted to be a parent one day, but I was worried about how to balance academia and parenting.
I told her -I saw she answered emails at all hours of the day and night! I knew that my advisor's dining room table was covered in research for her book.
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I told her -I saw she answered emails at all hours of the day and night! I knew that my advisor's dining room table was covered in research for her book.
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When I said that I really wanted to be a parent one day, but I was worried about how to balance academia and parenting.
I told her -I saw she answered emails at all hours of the day and night! I knew that my advisor's dining room table was covered in research for her book.
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I told her -I saw she answered emails at all hours of the day and night! I knew that my advisor's dining room table was covered in research for her book.
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I couldn't fathom how that life was compatible with parenting children. Her response was really eye-opening.
"You want to talk lack of work-life balance? Try industry. There you're expected to work 9-5, and leave your work at work. yes. But you're expected to be there. 9-5"
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"You want to talk lack of work-life balance? Try industry. There you're expected to work 9-5, and leave your work at work. yes. But you're expected to be there. 9-5"
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"When I worked in industry, if my kid had a play at school, I couldn't go. If he had a doctor's appointment, I had to take sick leave and give advance warning. I _left_ industry and came to academia for the opportunity for better work-life balance".
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And that has stuck with me for... 20 years. (OMG 20 YEARS WHAT THE HECK).
Yes. The flexibility is challenging. Yes, sometimes I work on weekends and evenings. But also sometimes I bake a cake with my kid on a Monday afternoon.
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Yes. The flexibility is challenging. Yes, sometimes I work on weekends and evenings. But also sometimes I bake a cake with my kid on a Monday afternoon.
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So if you are a student considering academia, please don't just rule it out because you are worried about work-life balance. Don't rule it out because you see that we are busy. Is it hard? Absolutely. But so is any job. They are all difficult in their own way.
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Did I sometimes miss a concert or a soccer game because I was out of town for a conference? Yes. But I was able to walk my kids to school most days.
Did I have to stay up late to finish reviewing a paper? Often. But I also got to read books to my kids at bedtimes.
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Did I have to stay up late to finish reviewing a paper? Often. But I also got to read books to my kids at bedtimes.
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I am so grateful to this professor for opening my eyes to that option. And feel so lucky to have been able to be in a job in academia that has allowed me to volunteer at my kids' schools, and chaperone field trips, and stay home with them when they are sick.
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There are pros and cons to each type of job. You can go for an industry job because you want a clear separation between work and life. Forgo academia because you don't believe in the system, or don't want the flexibility.
Don't give it up because you want to be a parent.
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Don't give it up because you want to be a parent.
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Parenting is what happens in between our jobs, whatever those jobs may be. Academia is no different.
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