I have done a thread of all the times my heart was ripped out and cut into tiny pieces in ep 403 of #WynonnaEarp
You may notice a theme. #KatBarrell

"Monsters"

One word explaining how much has changed since Waverly has been gone.Defending the Homestead has been fucking hard.

"These days it's just Nicole".

No longer Sheriff and feeling like she has failed.

"Yea it's tough to think of a world without Randy Nedley".

All she has thought about over the passed 18 months 3 weeks and 4 days are the people she has lost. So alone.

"Nothing easy about those months"

Feeling defensive that her path was any easier.

"No almond milk, it is hard to get some things, sorry"

Apologising for something that is not her fault. NICOLE IT IS NOT YOUR FAUUUUUUUUUULT.

"Present company not the sheriff"

Nicole, Nicole, Nicole, you are always gonna be the Sheriff.

"It's only coz I organised it by fabric"

Nicole spending her time alone taking care of all of Waverly's things not knowing if she would ever see her again. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. #WayHaught

"Come back safe, again"

Unable to concentrate on Waverly because she now needs eyes and ears all over the place to keep safe. Rachel is her family now and Nicole caring for her is .

"Thanks for getting her home"

Everything about this seeing each other and hugging and omg I died. The love for each other. #Wynaught

"Peachy"

She ain't peachy.

"I know I let everybody down"

Nicole tried to find them and feels guilty omg no no nooooooooooooooooooo you did everything you could Nicoooooooooooooooooooole!!!

"There are things every night in those traps"

Always worrying. Needing to get back to Rachel.

RACHEL!!!!

The panic that Rachel is hurt and mothering her

Nicole frozen on the spot. The trauma she has been through making her freeze like that. This scene my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

"No".

Nicole realising she has been hunting Nedley and the guilt she feels.

"Nicole"

Nicole unable to hug Nedley or forgive herself. Jesus Christ Kat your lil face.

This entire scene. Nicole is jumpy, she cannot say I love you, her mind is elsewhere. Trauma fucking all over the shop. Oh Nicole. My heart breaks for you.

But:

"Can I come with you?"
"Always"

Nicole may not be able to say it for fear of losing her again, but she loves her Waverly.
LOOK AT HER FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

#Wayhaught

And there ends my broken hearted journey of 403.
I am off to go cuddle a pillow.

Thank you @chocolateyshell and @KatBarrell , you killed it/me.

#KatBarrell
#WynonnaEarp