For me, vulnerability is in the little things. The inviting someone out and adding “it would mean a lot to me if you came” or “i would like more of your time, i miss you” instead of acting nonchalant all the time. I can’t afford to shield myself from disappointment anymore.

It’s the refusal to ask things of people that keeps a lot of us lonely. Trying to shield ourselves from disappointment if they don’t meet our needs also shields us from love, community, and transformation.

The truth is that everyone won’t respond the way we need them to. The truth is that sometimes it will hurt and be hard. But, i believe i truly believe that isolation just isn’t the answer and I’m constantly pushing for a heart with boundaries not borders.

And/also..... some of us have to stop hyperfocusing on disappointment. If i ask for 10 friends to show up and only 4 actually show up, then that matters. I pour myself into what’s in front of me.

Still feel disappointed but i just don’t hyperfocus on it.