okay, this is gonna be a long #thread about what it means to us to be plural

we are not trying to write a universal definition!

this is based on our own experiences and what we learned from other plural& folks

if you still have (kind) questions at the end, feel free to dm

general concept

we don't experience all the thoughts, feelings, memories, sensations, perceptions and desires that go through this body & brain to be connected to one single self.

some people may relate to this on some level, especially if they experience #dissociation

1/

this experience exists in varying levels of intensity.

some people may simply not have a strong, constant, secure sense of self, but they would still describe themselves as one single person.

one name, one identity, one set of labels, one constant sense of personhood.

2/

for others, including us, this is not the case.

a lot of our thoughts, feelings, memories, are extremely disconnected from each other,
and from "us"

so much so, that we do not have one constant sense of personhood.

"I" (and "we") does not mean the same thing all the time.

3/

for this reason (amongst others), we, & other folks who experience this or similar stuff, don't feel that it makes sense for us personally to describe & conceive of ourselves as One Single Person

depending on the moment in time, the name "sehrys" will feel like mine - or not

4/

this is because "i/we" are not always sehrys (more about this later)

long story short - some people you may perceive as One Person are in fact many. they are multiple, plural, a group of people

yes we may share a body & brain, but not one mind, not one self, or one identity

5/

plural, mutiple, system, DID?

alright, so what is this called, being many in one body & brain?

how do people like us talk about themselves, what do those words mean & isn't this all just a mental health condition called DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)?

(it's not.)

6/

[CN/ #diagnoses]

first things first: DID is a specific mental health condition that people get diagnosed with, like with any other.

some get misdiagnosed, for some it fits, some are self diagnosed (which is valid for a million reasons we won't get into here).

7/

[CN/ #diagnoses]

some people with DID identify as plural (or else, getting into that in a sec), some don't.

some disagree with their diagnosis, some have additional mental health conditions as well - it's complicated!

i personally don't have DID, but i'm plural.

8/

as we can't speak from personal experience, that's all we gotta say about DID - others are out there talking about this though!

(one last thing - having DID and experiencing dissociation in general are NOT the same thing. many people dissociate sometimes without having DID.)

9/

there have always been folks who've experienced being many, while it's considered the norm to experience yourself as One.

there are a lot of explanations, words, terms and concepts out there to describe this. but i'm not a historian, + i'm a privileged white european kid.

10/

what i do know is this:

today, there are a few common words that describe this, that are used by us & others

most of us have specific preferences when it comes to these terms! please try not to generalise and ask us which words to use when talking with/about us!

11/

the words we come across most often are "system", "plural", "multiple", "plural/multiple system", "many" and "collective"

sometimes, you'll see these terms followed up by a "+" or more often a "&" - for example "plural&"

we personally use all of these except "multiple"

12/

that's because we (and many others) associate this term with "Multiple Personality Dosorder" (MPD)

MPD is what DID used to be called, though the diagnostic criteria have also changed in the past.

it's also closely associated with the concept of "split personality".

13/

[CN/ #trauma]

both of these terms are not used or liked by many of the systems i know. they are considered outdated & are often associated with trauma.

unless you are 100% sure someone wants you to use these terms for them, DON'T.

14/

headmates, alters, parts, ...?

just like many systems mean many words for being a system (or else), there are also lots of terms for the different persons, identities, ...

same as before: different people use different words! ask before you use any of these for others!

15/

the ones we encounter the most are: "alters", "mates", "headmates", "people", "parts", "identities", "inside (voices, people, ...)", "others", "us"

there are a lot more!

we personally use mates or headmates, sometimes "others".

we also usually use "we" instead of "i"

16/

if people only have one person / identity (so probably most of you!), we call you a Singlet

it's basically the opposite of being plural& (though as everything, plurality is a spectrum!)

so just like most people who aren't trans are cis, most who aren't plural& are singlets

17/

singlets aren't any more "normal" than cis people are, or heterosexuals, or allistic people, or abled ones, or thin people.

the human condition comes in many forms and being plural& is one of them.

18/

- continuing this tomorrow, it's the middle of the night here -

- it is tomorrow we're continuing! -

why does this exist?

there are a million stories, reasons, explanations, theories & a lot of personal knowledge about "why" some people are plural.

as with anything: plural& folks are the experts of their own lived experience! not singlet doctors, or any other singlet.

19/

many systems have knowledge about how they came into existence ( =became more than one person) and a good idea of why.

others are constantly searching for answers.

and many are more interested in living their daily lives than in the big How & Why & When.

20/

if someone trusts you enough to share their own story, their experiences with you, trust them. believe them.

don't tell plurals& you know more about their inner lives than they do.

if you don't understand someone's origin story (yes this makes us sound like superheroes!)

21/

keep that to yourself!

you don't have to tell us you don't understand & you don't even have to understand for that matter!

but you do have to respect us & our humanity. you have to listen. support us. fight for us.

& don't ask a system about their origin story, it's rude.

22/

specifics!

alright, so let's talk specifics.

daily life as a system can be very similar to that of a singlet - or be extremely different. plural experiences exist on a huge spectrum!

so these are only examples, and personal experiences.

23/

many systems experience something we often call "fronting / (to) front"

this refers to the way our minds & thoughts work.

for many systems, not all their alters& are in control and conscious at the same, at any given time it's most likely only a single or a couple of them.

24/

so when we say "A is fronting right now" it means A is currently aware of what's happening on the outside and most likely in control of body movements, communication, etc.

this experience differs vastly in different systems and between different headmates!

25/

a lot of headmates never front and exist basically in "the back of a system's mind"

some only front at the same time as others, because they aren't able or willing to use body & brain by themselves.

many have a couple of mates who front by far the most of the time.

26/

often, we don't know ourselves who's fronting. being aware of your inside world can be pretty hard!

anyway, that's what that means.

many plurals are ok with others asking "who's fronting right now?" but only if you're close, or friends. don't ask strangers without consent!

27/

another common plural& experience is "switching"

this refers to the moment when one+ headmate stops fronting, and others take over.

switching feels, works and looks different in every system.

some do it consciously, for some it just happens. for many it's a mix!

28/

for some systems, switching is accompanied by physical symptoms. we may get headaches, migraines, twitching, accidental body movements, brain fog, a sudden change of moods, etc.

the list is endless! these are only random examples.

some systems have no physical symptoms!

29/

switching might happen in an instant or gradually, over a few minutes, hours, days, or even a much longer period of time.

some plural& folks experience times of switching as "working on autopilot", or aren't able to form long term memories during these times.

30/

another common plural& experience is
memory loss

this comes in a ton of forms & some may have zero memory issues!

for many, memories belong to the alter who fronted while something happened. after a switch, the new fronting alter may not no where they are, etc.

31/

some system's alters are able to share memories to a degree, some aren't, this is a spectrum, you know the gist by now!

this can create all kinds of issues! like, someone tells me they know me and i have zero recollection of them.

or we don't remember our childhood.

32/

or where we put the coffee.

a lot of us develop coping strategies to work around many of these issues, so you as an outsider may not realise how much memory loss we're experiencing

in order to survive, everyone has to find shortcuts and detours and tricks.

33/

okay, last example!

some who are many describe & experience themselves as a lot of completely distinct people with different names, lifestories, consciousnesses, ...

some conceive of themselves as many parts of one main person.

both experiences are true, real, and valid.

34/

societal problems & health care

[CN/ #medicalTrauma, #diagnoses, #saneism]

plural systems may want &/ need therapy, access to medication &/ psychiatric assistance.

for many, this is extremely difficult, traumatic or plain impossible. especially without a DID diagnoses

35/

[CN/ #medicalTrauma, #diagnoses, #saneism]

i'm not gonna get into specifics here, but the main thing is:

everyone deserves access to these things if they want them.

many of us have trauma related to the medical & mental health care system because, *sigh*, singlets.

36/

[CN/ #medicalTrauma, #diagnoses, #saneism]

most of the singlets out there either don't ""believe in"" plural systems' experiences or want to ""fix us""

this is true for "professionals" as well. this attitude keeps many of us from getting the care we need & deserve.

37/

[CN/ #medicalTrauma, #diagnoses, #saneism, #integration]

many "professionals" are prejudiced against systems & folks with DID and cling to outdated ideas of "treatment"

this includes the idea of forced integration = forcing all headmates into "becoming one", aka a singlet.

38/

[CN/ #medicalTrauma, #diagnoses, #saneism, #integration]

while some systems may work towards voluntary integration, many seek to improve internal communication & to develop functional ways to live their daily lives as plurals

forced integration isn't the answer for either.

39/

there are many more examples of this kind of stuff, but the main takeaway is:

existing as a plural& system in this society in many ways means living in a hostile environment without access to the care we deserve.

listen to us when we talk about these issues & support us!

40/

different kinds of mates

if you follow a couple of system accounts on twitter, read their blogs or articles or just have some plural& friends, you'll soon notice some common things.

(this part is 100% based on personal experience & anecdotes, we have 0 other data)

41/

in order to function and keep ourselves safe, we sometimes have headmates that focus on specific roles or skill sets.

we may have one+ protectors, or memory keepers, main fronters or headmates that deal with most conflicts we encounter.

this way we share our tasks, >>

42/

>> our workload, our needs with each other.

if you only front for example for 20 minutes a day, it's hard to get skilled at every single thing we need to do to survive!

sometimes, our headmates may seem "one dimensional" to you because of this.

43/

if plural folks share the inner workings of their minds with you, don't disrespect them or talk down to our mates.

we have an other who only sings happy songs in the back of our head. sometimes she comes out when we eat pancakes & brings waves of childhood memories with her

44/

she isn't any less of a complex, feeling being for not doing anything else (so far) or for not being able to front alone, or to talk with outsiders.

all of our others have specific needs, desires, skills, feelings, thoughts, identities.

they are all equally important.

45/

new headmates &
how to know if you're plural

two of the questions we get asked the most are:

how many are you?

&

how do you know you're plural?

46/

let's start with #2

no outsider can decide if you're a system or not. this is similar to other essential aspects of your identity, like for example your gender.

(we use this analogy a lot because we find it helpful & are trans ourselves, so it's personal experience)

47/

figuring out something about yourselves is often a lengthy process, & for many folks it contains a lot of back and forth.

if you frequently find yourselves wondering whether you are more than one, if "I" always means the same, exploring the possibility of being plural >>

48/

might make sense for you (or not!)

plurality is, as everything, a spectrum. you don't have to be either a system with clearly defined and separated alters, or a singlet with a constant sense of self.

there are all kinds of variations here, people are complicated!

49/

the question of if a voice in your head, a different "persona", a different state of mind, is a headmate or something else, can't be answered by anyone but you.

personally, we figured out we were plural through a couple of things:

1 we were very fascinated by plurality.

50/

we read about it, wanted to befriend plurals&, consumed media with (terrible & incorrect) depictions of plurality in it.

2 looking back into our past, we noticed this obsession had been present in childhood already, in a way.

3 we related to plural people's narratives.

51/

4 we noticed a weird pattern of memory loss.

5 we found writings in our own handwriting (well, kind of), that spelled out childlike thoughts, and lists of names ranked by preferences, without memory of writing them.

6 we reached out to systems on twitter >>

52/

and compared our experiences with theirs, in long & thoughtful conversations <3.

7 in silent moments, we asked ourselves out loud if anyone was in there, hidden in our brain, in our heart, who wanted to come out. there were, and they came.

8 we listened.

53/

we know that this is hard for outsiders to understand.

it's hard to explain too!

& it is hard to understand even when it's happening to yourselves.

some people use concepts like the Inner Child to work on understanding themselves, to heal, nurture & be kind to themselves.

54/

if you relate to these kinds of methods strongly, it doesn't mean that you have a literal conscious inner child headmate - maybe it is truly just a tool for you, and that's perfectly fine!

but maybe you do find yourself with an other inside your head, if you just listen.

55/

this has gotten a bit poetic & weird, oh well.

the point was - there's no script for this. there's no universal definition.

you can try out calling yourself a system and then decide that it wasn't right for you. you can mess about & try out labels, and methods, and names.

56/

you can take a pen and write down "hello?" on a blank piece of paper and wait. maybe you& will have the impulse to respond, maybe you won't.

you can research DID and read along on plural folks twitter & just see where you end up in six months.

57/

either way.

we are here.

there are vast communities out here full of wonderful people who have been through this before you, many of them excited to talk about it.

you are precious either way, and you are worth it to try to figure yourselves out if that's what you want.

58/

- behind the scenes special edition

we had a massive switch (that we didn't notice at the time) while typing up ~tweet #44 and now factual writing is very hard, letters are and someone is thinking about colour theory very loudly

we'll continue this later / tomorrow -

alright

let's continue with the other popular question! "how many are you?"

when people ask me this, they often expect a concrete number. and some systems can & will give you such a number! like: 5. or maybe 37. or 621.

but many can't &/ won't answer in such a way.

59/

this may be because, amongst others:

1 this is extremely personal and they don't want to share that info with you (or maybe any outsider)

2 the mate who's currently fronting simply doesn't know!

3 there are headmates that can't or don't want to be counted.

60/

4 some headmates may merge with each other, form subsystems or drift in and out of existence. this makes counting hard!

5 new system members are being born, created, welcomed, witnessed coming into existence, ..., so the number is currently changing.

+ endless other things

61/

either way:

do NOT demand we give you a specific number!

(this happens all the time, and it's rude and shows your disrespect & feeling of entitlement)

don't ridicule any number you're given! no "are you sure" or "that seems impossible / too high"

don't do it!

62/