TRIGGER WARNING: sexual violence. A thread because today is the day.

When I was 19, I was raped. It was my first experience with sexual interercourse. I would like to share my own thoughts in relation to why I support Katherine Tigerman and how “rape victims respond.”

There are four responses to trauma: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. The reactions are not choices. I did not INTEND to react as I did nor did I purposely respond to minimize the damage that had been done to my psyche and body. But I did.

At some point, I stopped saying no. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS GIVING CONSENT. I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to be okay again as fast as possible. I froze.

Then I did anything to normalize what had happened. I thought it meant I was his girlfriend. I worked with him. I went to school with him. It took me a year to even understand what had happened. I fawned.

A rape is not determined by the aftermath. Or even what happened before. It is determined by someone forcing the illusion of a yes from a person who has said no. I didn’t respond “like a rape victim.” I was still raped.

Did I lie about it? Yes. I said it was fine. I said I was over it. I said it didn’t matter. I said I would act as if it never happened and then the world would be safe again. Those are the lies women who have been raped tell.

But millions of us have had a piece of us taken and now move through the world with a gaping wound that becomes our new normal. We see each other and know. I believe Katherine Tigerman.

A follow up: Katherine read the thread. Then she read the replies. She texted me, "... tell the supernatural folks and whoever thank you from me. Tell then I'm reading it all and it's healing my soul."

So thank you. From me as well. To healing. This is how we do.