Someday someone wiser than me will write a book of dating wisdom for teenage boys, because I know I'm not the only one who grew up with several misconceptions about dating, love, sex and women.

Literally still figuring out at age 30 what I should have known at 19.

1. Madonna Complex, aka "She is a "good girl" who would never knowingly do anything to hurt me."

I chop this particular snakebite 3x before I woke up and stopped jonzing.

IRL there is no such thing as a "good" anybody. We are all capable of horrible things. Ole l'everybody.

2. Mummy Complex, aka she can provide the warmth and safe environment that birth mother didn't.

Ashey, she's only gonna "nurture" you inasmuch as she's getting a quid pro quo of out it. Real life is a transaction. There's no mummy out there.

3. I was allegedly her "first," so that means that I owe her a lifetime of loyalty and service.

419.

IRL, sex is not something that someone "gave" you. You both did exactly what you wanted to do. Chopped this guilt trip at 23 when I was supposed to be out living my best life.

4. I met her family and they like me, so that means we are a sure thing.

Another 419.

Families only "like" you inasmuch as there is a quid pro quo. When circumstances change, they'll delete you off that cute WhatsApp group chat.

True fucking story.

5. We go at it like rabbits, so that means we're both in love.

The ultimate 419.

Some people will make every one of your dreams come true with their body, but their heart is locked away behind 6ft of concrete.

It will never be yours and you shall cry premium man tears.

6. Women are better people than men simply because they are statistically the victims of men.

IRL, *any* human is capable of being an abusive, inconsiderate, cold hearted, narcissistic prick.

Na just chance to show talent wey some people never see...

7. If I love her hard enough and treat her like a queen, she'll eventually realise how much I value her, which will make her stop treating me like crap and love me back.

LOL.

IRL she'll never, ever, EVER reciprocate, except maybe you count occasionally stoning her body at you.

8. My love, warmth and positive energy, if it remains consistent will eventually fix her insecurities/self-esteem/undiagnosed mental health issues.

Bruh.

Chances are you're the one who ends up in a straitjacket or an emergency ward. Thou art not a physician. Dead that thought.

9. I just need to work harder to please her/spend more money on her, and she'll stop being such a wet towel all the time.

This one is advance fee fraud lol.

Happiness comes from within. Some people just don't know how to ever be happy. You'll just work and die. Issa scam.

10. Avoiding conflict and always deescalating makes me "mature"

Yahoo+

All it makes you is the pushover whose buttons she becomes expert at pushing. Or worse, you become her enabler as she turns into a monster who can't even say the word "sorry."

Saw this 1st hand growing up