Thread by @goblinparties, 11 hours into skyrim and i'm still screaming about how much time [...]

11 hours into skyrim and i& #39;m still screaming about how much time i spent making my little nord warrior beautiful when i never ever ever EVER get to see her shining, perfect face

anyways i maintain that this is a hot girl simulator because every single person on the street keeps trying to talk to me despite not knowing me at all and everyplace i go people are fucking STARING

lydia. sweetheart. darling. light of my life. wind beneath my wings. song of my heart. apple of my eye. you& #39;re in my goddamn way again.

finally had an npc deliver the arrow to the knee line and even after a decade i still don& #39;t get it

i met a cat person :))))
it tried to rob me :((((

ok but WHY is this weed yelling at me

i think part of what makes this game so satisfying is the fact that once my enemies are dead their corpses just slide off the cliffside like butter patties on a stack of hot pancakes

good god is leadership ability measured by how sluttily you can sit in a chair bc if so please refer to me as jarl henderly from now on

wait hang on my political alignment choices are a) states rights racists b) flat out facists or c) monkhood??

y& #39;girl is officially a homeowner!!! did it with no cosigner, all thanks to saving and working hard!!! keep grinding, one day this success will be yours!! i am so humbled, the skyrim dream really is achievable if you just work hard and save!!! #paidoff #success #grindlife

quick question why does every single child look like bee-sting ellen page

VAMPIRES HUH

everybody& #39;s so damn impatient. "have you found any leads to my murdered daughter& #39;s blah blah blah" my dude you literally just told me. i haven& #39;t even left your house yet. but now you& #39;ve annoyed me so i& #39;m gonna pick flowers on the opposite side of the world for two weeks, toodles!

i love every single bug in this game. the food that wiggles on it& #39;s plate like a dog that& #39;s happy to see you. the npc that& #39;s standing directly between you & the other npc that& #39;s monologuing at you. accidentally kicking something & sending it into the sun. floating corpses. lovely

i yelled so loud i startled the shit out of my fiance for the second time in 18 hours

also god bless these couriers who manage to find me in the middle of dragonfuck nowhere, i hope they& #39;re unionized

d asked how skyrim was going and when i replied & #39;great, i got a lot done& #39; i got flashbacks to my time playing wow and had to go lie down

god i love two handed weapons. after a while fighting wolves feels like playing baseball... but if baseballs had teeth and hated you

dear abby,
my new friends are trying to peer pressure me into experimenting with lycanthropy, but i& #39;m not so sure about it. i like my new friends but i don& #39;t know about such a big life change! what do i do?
sincerely,
worried wolf-to-be in whiterun

pov: your beautiful orc wife is home from a skirmish & has brought glory to your household & as you both wait by the fire for your stew to finish cooking, you lay your head in her lap & she plays with your hair, regaling you with tales of battle

(help me the camera is stuck)

everybody kept telling me i looked sick or ill and i thought they were just being racist bc i& #39;m a green orc in a nord city but NOPE guess i got lockjaw from an r.o.u.s. or something

i think what makes this game almost perfect is there& #39;s a million different little skills to level up and but fishing is not among them. thank god.

that& #39;s nice, but you look like every 5th person out here so i have no idea who you are

i& #39;ve been seriously considering starting a separate game to be a Criminal where i just do whatever i want, and as soon as i do this little shit is gonna eat lightning bolts

me, a month ago: oh no a dragon!! they& #39;re so big and i& #39;m so small and flammable, i gotta hide!
me now: GET DOWN HERE YOU GIANT SCALY COWARD I AM GONNA MAKE COWBOY BOOTS OUTTA YOU!!! YEEHAW MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

god bless my beautiful charming darling sweet patient kind fiance for not even batting an eye as i scream GIVE ME YOUR SOUL YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE in the living room as they quietly try to meet their work deadlines

a buckwild thing to greet a complete stranger with, but damn if i don& #39;t respect it

i need to know where specifically on this stag& #39;s body i found a ring. it& #39;s important to me. was it in his stomach? jauntily placed on an antler prong? oh god was he wearing it on his hoof, was he married??? oh fuck, oh no

ah, yes, sludge season in whiterun

AHHHHH i mean to loot a body but instead i PICKED IT UP and it was flippity flopping all over the place and it startled me and i kicked my keyboard and now there& #39;s a screenshot AKA EVIDENCE OF MY CRIMES and i am just so bad at this murder and pillage shit it& #39;s ridiculous

y& #39;girl adopted a couple of very well-mannered little girls for the sole purpose of being able to call herself a milf

my favorite part of being a parent is when my daughter tells me how glad she is to have a family again and compliments our home (out by a lake, which i built and furnished myself) and then immediately asks for money

my favorite sexy tavern lady died waving a dagger at a dragon while it attacked the town and i& #39;m so upset i stole her clothes about it

oh hang on, my weed guys is here

my favorite detail about the house i built is that on top of a very high tower there& #39;s just a single chair with a side table and a goblet of wine overlooking the lake and forest. it& #39;s like phil kessel built it.

I WAS PICKING LAVENDER IN A FIELD AND A DUDE WITH A SWORD RAN UP ON ME FROM OUTTA THE BUSHES AND MY HORSE STARTED WAILING ON HIM IN MY DEFENSE THIS GAME RULES

$680,000 / 4 bed 0 bath (for some reason) / 2,960 sq ft
lovely little lakeside property comes w/ an enchanter& #39;s tower, storage room, & a beautiful patio from which you can gaze over the lake & your neighbor& #39;s necromancy altar! please do not disturb current tenants, call for tour

i cannot pat her snoot or give her an apple, this game is BULLSHIT

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