Thread by @Glitter_Pixels, Finally got around to bingeing RWBY with a friend who's never seen [...]

Finally got around to bingeing RWBY with a friend who& #39;s never seen the show before. This ought to be fun.

Alright, three episodes in and Peter& #39;s rocking out to the theme song. He& #39;s learning well.

Peter: Blake is such a mood. Just fuck off and let me read my book.

*introducing Pyrrha*

Peter: Ooh, she& #39;s hot.

*Jaune ignores Pyrrha in favour of Weiss*

Peter: What the fuck are you doing?! Pyrrha is way hotter!

Oh boy, he& #39;s already shipping Arkos.

*Ruby runs around trying to find Yang*

Peter: This is my trying to find Glitter in a mall.

Me: -_-

Damn, he& #39;s crushing on Pyrrha so hard right now

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*Yang reveals her weapon*

Peter: She has fucking gauntlets?! Oh my God, Yang you beautiful woman!

Pyrrha is already his #1 favourite, with Yang and Blake close behind. Clever lad.

Pyrrha: Do you feel that?

Jaune: Soul-crushing regret?

Peter: (Bursts out laughing) That is is such a fucking mood!

*Ren and Nora show back up again after killing a Beowolf*

Me: Ren is like her babysitter, oh my God.

Peter: Ren is both her dad and her daddy.

Me: Oh God, no.

Peter: That was bad, I& #39;m sorry.

Me: No you& #39;re not.

Peter: (snickering) Not in the slightest.

And now we get to Nora& #39;s weapon:

Peter: She has a fucking love heart launcher?

Me: Grenade launcher. Wait for it.

Nora: *unfolds the launcher into its hammer mode*

Peter: (completely dumbstruck smile) SHE CAN HAMMER ME, HOLY SHIT!

Peter is not amused that he shares a name with Professor Port

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Peter just made a connection between Blake& #39;s personality and our friend Scorpio, and holy shit he& #39;s right

Weiss: I think I should have been the leader of Team RWBY!

Professor Port:....That& #39;s preposterous!

Peter: (fucking dies laughing)

*Any time Pyrrha opens her mouth*

Peter: Oh my God you precious angel!

Pyrrha: You know, I really *will* break his legs.

Peter: Yes! Break his legs like you break my heart! Oh God, I& #39;m such a simp for Pyrrha...

At least he admits it

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*Jaune decapitates the Ursa*

Peter: Great! Now he& #39;s finally Joan of Arc instead of Pussy of Arc! Now Pyrrha, just stop fucking carrying him, holy shit!

*Meeting Sun Wukong*

Peter: Yes. All of my yes. This is all I want.

*On Blake& #39;s Faunus reveal*

Peter: Oh my God that makes so much sense. You has my interest, but now you have all my attention.

Peter agrees that Penny is a wholesome child who needs to be protected.

This was basically Peter& #39;s face during the entire fight scene at the docks

And that& #39;s Volume 1! He really likes it so far, which I& #39;m super happy about. I& #39;ll definitely be continuing these tweets as we continue to watch.

Alright, time for Volume 2!

*During the food fight*

Peter: (confusion noises and laughter)

Oh God, so many puns....

*Cinder walks in while Roman& #39;s threatening Emerald and Mercury*

Peter: Oh God, the ex-wife walks in when he& #39;s talking shit about the kids.

Peter headbanging to the theme song is a sight to behold

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*Pyrrha shows up*

Peter: Yes! Waifu material is on screen!

*On Cinder interacting with Ruby in the dorms*

Peter: (pure sarcasm) Hmmmmm, I wonder if she& #39;s evil!

Peter: PENNY! BEST CHILD IS HERE!

Peter: Penny may not be a real girl, but she& #39;s still best child. Who needs a real kid when you can have a Penny?

Agreed wholeheartedly.

White Fang Lieutenant: (talks)

Me: I honestly can& #39;t tell if he& #39;s trying to do a Russian accent or an Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.

Peter: Oh, it& #39;s Arnold. It& #39;s definitely Arnold.

*Neo shows up*

Peter: Who& #39;s that?

Me: Neo Politan

Peter: I wanna take a bite out of her head. And not in the fun way.

Me: Goddammit dude...

Pyrrha: (exists)

Peter: BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL!

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Peter: Pyrrha, I& #39;d let you break my knees if you& #39;d allow me within ten feet of you!

The crush is real

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Yang: (To Blake) If you come tomorrow night, I& #39;ll save you a dance.

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Peter: Aaaand there& #39;s the ship.

Oh trust me my friend, this is only the beginning.

*Jaune shows up in a dress*

Peter: (dies laughing)

*Blake cat jumps away upon seeing Zwei*

Peter: (bursts out laughing) Typical fucking cat.

*On Team RWBY getting partnered with Oobleck*

Peter: Those faces! God, such a fucking mood.

Apparently Ruby=Glitter in Peter& #39;s eyes. Can& #39;t say I necessarily disagree

Peter: Wait, Oobleck& #39;s weapon is a thermos staff?

Me: Wait for it.

*Thermos flamethrower ensues*

Peter:

I think Peter& #39;s face might be stuck in a permanent smile after the Breach fight

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And that& #39;s Volume 2 all done with. To be continued

Time for Volume 3!

Ruby: My BFF!

Weiss: No.

Peter: (bursts out laughing) That was such a Scorpio response, holy shit!

We made comparisons to ourselves and the RWBY characters, and we determined that Peter is extremely similar to Nora. He agrees with that description

Peter: Wait, Neptune& #39;s afraid of water? That& #39;s fucking ironic as hell.

Me: That& #39;s the joke.

Oh boy, time to meet Qrow!

Peter: Qrow is me. No contest.

Me: That& #39;s definitely accurate.

Peter: I know Winter& #39;s trying to be a supportive older sister, but she really just comes across as being a massive bitch.

Me: She& #39;s kind of the firm but fair, type. Tough love, and all that.

Peter: "Welcome to the Schnee family! We& #39;re all bitches!"

*Ruby and Penny talking about Ciel*

Penny: She& #39;s like Blake, but if Blake was ordered to spend time with you.

Ruby: Oh, so like Weiss.

Peter: (squeaking laughter)

Peter: Neon is so fucking gay, I love it! She is our gay queen!

Glynda: The Maiden power& #39;s transfer process has become a bit more...intimate.

Pyrrha: Intimate?

Peter: That& #39;s what she said.

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The whole Yang vs Mercury fight just happened and Peter& #39;s mind is just blown, and rightfully so.

Peter: Nooooo! Why is this so fucking sad?

Me: Yeah, things are going...not great.

Peter: Qrow really is the best uncle. Best guy ever.

Agreed wholeheartedly. Bird uncle is best uncle

Peter: Wait, Penny vs Pyrrha? Oh God, is everyone gonna find out she& #39;s a robot? Oh God no...

Penny just got torn to shreds, and needless to say...

Peter: PENNY! NO! WHY PENNY? YOU BASTARDS!

*Jaune takes leadership of the student defenses*

Peter: Yes! Jaune has finally grown a pair of balls! Our boy has become a man!

Peter& #39;s reaction to Velvet& #39;s weapon in a nutshell:

*Blake vs Adam, then Yang appears*

Peter: Of course when he& #39;s talking about love Yang shows up.

*Adam slices Yang& #39;s arm off*

Peter: YANG NO! NO!

Peter: No! We don& #39;t need Ren and Stumpy!

Me: Peter! No.

Peter: I& #39;m making jokes so I don& #39;t cry, okay?!

*The Arkos kiss happens, and Jaune gets sent away in the rocket locker*

Peter: Oh God! Pyrrha...Christ alive... Jaune is so me here, what the fuck...

Peter: (squeaking) Pyrrha...nonononono Pyrrha....No, they wouldn& #39;t!

Me: They did...

Peter: Why did both of my favourite characters have to fucking die?!

Me: Because Volume 3 hates happiness.

Peter: Wait, who the fuck is that?

Me: That my friend, is Salem.

Peter: Salem? What the hell?

Me: We have the Wizard of Oz, and now we have our Wicked Witch.

Peter: Motherfucker!

Peter: God, what the fuck? I love this season but I want to fucking cry.

Me: We all cry. Even now, it still hurts.

Peter: WHHHHY?! Oh God, I& #39;m actually gonna cry...

Oh God he left the call screaming. I& #39;m so sorry dude

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Well, that was Volume 3. Time to go cry again.

Time for Volume 4!

Peter: Wait, the Grimm look like they& #39;re coming out of blood pools.

Me: That& #39;s the Pools of Annihilation.

Peter: Oh, well that just sounds fucking pleasant!

*Any time Watts talks*

Peter: Shut up, Waluigi!

Peter: Aw man I forgot that dude name. The hot dude in green.

Me: Ren.

Peter: Oh yeah, like Ren and Stimpy. Or Ren and Stumpy when Yang is around!

Me: No! I hate you!

Peter: (snickering) I& #39;m a horrible person and I love it.

Peter: Wait why does Ruby think it& #39;s hilarious that Jaune has a bunny on his hoodie when Nora has a heart on her dress? Double standards, Ruby!

*Jaune gets his upgraded armor with Pyrrha& #39;s symbol*

Peter: (sad squeaking)

*Meeting Whitley*

Peter: I already hate this little twat. Dude just opens his mouth and I immediately want to punch him.

*Jacques Schnee exists*

Peter. Nope. I& #39;ve already heard enough out of you, Boomer Sanders!

*The infamous Pyrrha training video scene plays*

Peter: Pyrrha...You bastards, stop making me cry!

If I hear one more missing arm joke from Peter whenever Yang& #39;s onscreen I& #39;m going to buy a plane ticket to Australia and punch him in the face

*Sun makes his grand entrance*

Peter: Of course it& #39;s Sun! The monkey king has returned!

Peter: Sun, I love you but please shut the fuck up.

*Ozpin speaks in Oscar& #39;s head*

Peter: I& #39;m sorry, what? Did I hear what I think I just heard?

Me: Yup.

Peter: OZPIN!

Peter: Yang& #39;s fucking amazing dude. Loses a fucking arm and yet she keeps on going. God, I& #39;m gonna cry again...

*Meeting Raven*

Peter: Fuck you, bitch. Fucking mom of the year, right here.

Pausing at episode 4 for the night, but will be continuing soon

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Peter: Menagerie is like if you smashed the pretty tropical climate of New Zealand with the near inhospitable terrain of Australia.

*Sun meeting Blake& #39;s parents*

Peter: Oh God, Sun is like every guy who first meets the girl& #39;s parents...

*Whitley exists*

Peter: God, fuck you slimy bitch!

Ozpin: I didn& #39;t say you were normal. I said you sane.

Peter: (bemused laughter)

Jacques Schnee is still a piece of shit. Pass it on.

Pausing for the night for now, but we& #39;ll be continuing shortly

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We& #39;re back, and just in time for Tyrian vs Qrow!

*Dust effects appear in the Two Brothers story*

Peter: I& #39;m sorry, all I can see here is the Thanos snap effect.

Peter: Qrow, no! You& #39;re not allowed to die on us!

Qrow: *starts coughing up purple blood* Ugh...Well that& #39;s unfortunate.

Peter: NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

Blake and Ghira& #39;s heart to heart brought many tears from both parties, unsurprisingly

Peter: Small Ren is so pure. A smol happy boi. And smol Nora is still taller than Haley.

Me: Oi!

Peter: Dude! Ren& #39;s semblance is so incredibly broken! He& #39;s hot, he& #39;s an awesome fighter, and he has that for a semblance! He& #39;s a triple threat!

Ironwood: By this time next week, Atlas will be be officially closing its borders. No one in, no one out.

Peter: Oh, so like literally every other fucking country except America with the coronavirus.

Oooooh, shots fired.

*On RNJR getting slapped around by the Nuckelavee*

Peter: Who would win? Four Huntsmen in training, or one slappy boi?

We& #39;re both in agreement that Renora is wholesome and pure

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So far this is Peter& #39;s favourite volume of the show, which is great. Until next time

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Me: *reading through this thread and seeing all the typos and spelling mistakes I& #39;ve made, knowing I can& #39;t edit them*

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