i'm being completely serious when i say that the tumblr-era anti-recovery mindset regarding mental health is one of the worst and most dangerous things to happen on the internet in the past few years

tumblr created a culture where you are unable to raise any slightly critical point about mental health or coping mechanisms, even if it is sensitively worded, that isn't "you are SO valid" or you will be assumed to be ableist or bad in some way

while it's amazing being able to find people online who go through the same struggles as you do, whether that struggle is a mental illness, being neurodivergent, or struggling with your sexuality, this mindset has also created an echo chamber of unhealthy coping mechanisms

we've all seen the posts where someone gently suggests "oh i have depression and i really recommend taking a walk, it can help a lot" where someone immediately replies "we can't all be neurotypical karen"

it has made people think that their struggles are inherently part of their identity, and that those issues they deal with cannot be eased in some way because their identity will somehow be compromised

it has created a mindset where self-deprecating jokes are overly accepted. where you are unable to share your own experiences with your mental health if it isn't the easy pandering "it is so hard and it doesn't get better"

part of this is because recovery is hard. the easy thing to do is give in and turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. choosing to get better is an active choice. but this mindset makes it seem like you are simply a victim to your mental health and cannot make those positive choices.

as someone who has experienced countless mental health struggles, you are not going to get better if you do not put in effort. you can sit with your friends and make harmful jokes about yourself, but unless you put in active effort things likely will not get better.

this mindset made it seem like this recovery is impossible. like you cannot possibly find a way to healthily cope with your struggles. that the only thing you could do is be a victim and let yourself be harmed. and that is so dangerous. things can get better. they do.

it is because of this culture that, even now, you still can't even gently say "i have struggled with this. this hurt me. this coping mechanism is unhealthy. let me help you and offer alternatives" without it being viewed as a personal attack rather than an outstretched hand.

your mental health and coping mechanisms do not exist in a vacuum. just because you use something to cope, that does not make it healthy or harmless in the long run. other people who offer you advice and try to help are not your enemies.

your struggles do NOT have to define you. your struggles do NOT have to make your everyday life hell. the internet promotes so many unhealthy coping mechanisms. it's incredibly incredibly hard to hear but you do have to make an active choice in your recovery.

managing your mental health does not make you lesser than others or somehow make you not as interesting. there is a difference between connecting with others with similar struggles and falling into a cycle of letting those struggles consume you.

i know you don't like to hear it but many of the coping mechanisms people use that are promoted online only hinder their recovery and coping. some could even be called self-harm. pointing that out is not ableist or a personal attack.

the fact that this website is so anti-recovery that we regularly repeat the same conversations we had on tumblr is depressing.

validity means nothing. it does nothing to say "you are so valid if you do ______ to cope!" if that coping mechanism is harmful and unproductive and that person is actively hurting themselves.

believing that all coping is good and that your coping methods are above criticism or that you are exempt from self-reflection is so incredibly incredibly dangerous and leads people to become stagnant in their recovery.

now let's talk about therapy! is therapy inaccessible? absolutely. can it be expensive? yes. are all therapists good? no. that does not make suggesting therapy as an OPTION to deal with your mental health inherently ableist or classist.

so many people see someone suggesting therapy and immediately lash out as if they sat down in front of you and said "if you do not go to therapy right now you are a terrible person". therapy can help. therapy can be amazing. someone suggesting that as a way to help is not bad.

if your response to someone saying "maybe therapy or other mental health help would be a good option" is to demand "are you paying?" you are not being productive. you are looking to get angry. therapy is not your only choice. advice is not your enemy.

even if regular therapy is inaccessible to you, there ARE resources available to you. there are countless free resources online and even programs in-person to help make mental health help more accessible.

there comes a point where you are just looking to be angry instead of considering the points someone raises. where you are in complete denial of the actual issue at hand so you lash out at whatever aspect of someone's suggestion you can.

therapy is not bad. someone saying that therapy could help is not bad. the idea of going to therapy is still so stigmatized that people still subconsciously lash out at it.

anyway these are just my thoughts about mental health on this website as someone who lived through tumblr-era mental health "awareness" and whose recovery was set back years because of it.

i'm not sure if this thread really made sense and i may add more onto it later but feel free to reach out if you have any questions or concerns about it