It all started before The End. You might think the preceding sentence would not figure largely in the annals of logical discourse and you would be right, but possibly not for the reasons you might imagine. You see nothing came after the The End, except the fullest of full-stops.

Elinor James stood on the roadside, steam coming from her ancient Mini trying to explain to her frustrated companion there is no cell-phone signal in this part of Wales. He was busy shouting at his phone, which works in London apparently, so he didn't hear her.

"Rod," she said, a slight twinkle of amusement in her eyes as he stabbed at the screen, "you may as well forget it, there's never been a signal here."
"Dear God," he replied, finally giving up and pocketing the phone, "how do you even talk to people here?"

"Well mostly in Welsh," she said, "but to be honest, Rod, no-one is ever far enough away to need phoning. We just nip round and say hello."
"Well we're not close enough to just nip round now," he snapped, "how far did you say?"
"Eleven miles," she answered, her twinkle fading.

"Well we'd better get walking then," he said as he slammed the bonnet of the car firmly into place, "otherwise it'll be dark before we get there."
"Nooo," she replied, her Welsh accent making an unannounced appearance much to the surprise of both of them.

"Why not?" he asked, a look of incredulity crossing his face.
"Oh, nothing," she answered, "It's just I have a feeling Ninja will be along in a minute."
"Ninja?" he exclaimed, "who the hell is Ninja?"
"Ninja Jones," she said with a smile as she heard the distant rumble of a truck

"He's the local mechanic," she continued, "the best one this side of Swansea."
A pickup truck rounded the bend as she said this, slowed to halt near their car and out climbed a small, bald man in overalls.
"Hello Ninja," Elinor said, "You're just in time."

"Miss James," he said as he doffed his cap , "I had a message you were in trouble, like. I'd have been here sooner, but Billy only just told me."
"Ninja, I want you to meet my fiance," Elinor said indicating Rod, who stood by open-mouthed. "Rod Asquith-McGrane."

"I won't shake your hand, sir," said Ninja showing his greasy palms, "but it's a pleasure to meet you."
"But, but," stammered Rod, "We only broke down ten minutes ago. How on Earth..?"
"Billy," said Elinor and Ninja together. They laughed with that shared comfort of familiarity.

"Billy?" queried Rod.
"Billy Williams," said Ninja, " nice lad, but a bit twp. He knows stuff, often before it happens."
"Tup?" asked Rod.
"Twp," said Elinor. "It means a bit wrong in the head. Billy is a bit simple, but he sees stuff."

"So you're saying this Billy is clairvoyant," Rod sounded sceptical, "And warned you in advance of Elinor's car overheating?"
"That's more less it," Ninja confirmed, "he also said to watch out for the seagull."
"What seagull?" asked Rod looking up into the clear blue sky.

"That one I guess," said Ninja handing Rod a clean white handkerchief, just as a deposit landed squarely on Rod's face.
"For fuck's sakes," shouted Rod as he grabbed at the handkerchief.
"Lucky it wasn't that nice suit," said Ninja. Elinor stood by stifling a laugh.

For. Fuck's. Sakes." said Rod as he wiped the sticky mess from his face.
"Let's have a look then," said Ninja pulling up the bonnet of the mini. He spent the next few minutes banging bits of engine with a bewildering variety of spanners, hammers and a brass tuning fork.

"That should do it," he said eventually, "it should run better than a Porsche now."
"You haven't done anything," spluttered Rod.
"Try it," Ninja said drawing himself up to his full five foot four and eyeing Rod levelly.

Rod climbed into the driving seat and turned the ignition.
"See," he said out of the window, "nothing."
"Press the accelerator," said Ninja.
Rod did so and was rewarded with the rising hum of an engine note not unlike the one heard in Formula One paddocks.

"How on earth did you do that?" Rod demanded.
"I know Miss Elinor's car," said Ninja, "so all its little foibles are an open book. Sometimes it just needs a little tap."
Elinor climbed into the passenger seat and said to Rod, "You can drive the rest of the way."

"Take care," said Ninja climbing back into his cab.
"Thanks, Ninja," yelled Elinor as Rod sped off down the lane.
"You're smirking," Rod said as he acclerated into a bend. The car was driving incredibly.
"Me?" asked Elinor with a smirk.

"How...?" Rod started.
"Don't ask," Elinor said patting his leg, "it's too long an explanation for a ten-minute drive. I'll tell you tomorrow."

Eventually, they pulled into the double row of houses and a pub passing for the village of Pen Wedi Mynd.

"Mum's is on the right," said Elinor, "I hope you're hungry. She's done a cooked dinner."
"How...?" asked Rod again, the same quizzical look of astonishment on his face.
Elinor just winked.

This was the beginning.
Of The End.