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Next time you make a mistake at work, comfort yourself that you are not the commanding officer of the USS William D Porter, a Fletcher Class US Navy destroyer commissioned in 1943.
On 12 November 1943 this singularly unfortunate ship set off from Norfolk, Virginia on an important mission.
She was to join the escort of USS Iowa, which was conveying President Roosevelt, General Marshall other senior American war leaders to conferences in Cairo and Tehran.
She was to join the escort of USS Iowa, which was conveying President Roosevelt, General Marshall other senior American war leaders to conferences in Cairo and Tehran.
Things began badly.
After she joined the escort, one of William D Porter's depth charges fell into the sea and exploded.
The Iowa and the remaining escorts, assuming that the explosion indicated a torpedo attack, took evasive action and began hunting the 'sub'.
After she joined the escort, one of William D Porter's depth charges fell into the sea and exploded.
The Iowa and the remaining escorts, assuming that the explosion indicated a torpedo attack, took evasive action and began hunting the 'sub'.
Regrettably, things proceeded to get worse. Much, much worse.
On 14 November 1943, at the President's request, Iowa conducted an anti aircraft drill.
The escorting destroyers joined in, carrying out a simulated torpedo launch for the President's edification.
On 14 November 1943, at the President's request, Iowa conducted an anti aircraft drill.
The escorting destroyers joined in, carrying out a simulated torpedo launch for the President's edification.
Aboard the William D Porter, the 'simulated' aspect of this got a bit lost.
Due to a mistake with a primer, William D Porter achieved a feat which eluded the most daring U boat commanders, and launched a fully armed torpedo directly towards the Iowa (and, therefore, the President of the United States and most of his senior aides).
Startlingly, things proceeded to get *even worse*.
In order to maintain radio silence, William D Porter used a signal lamp in an effort to warn Iowa of the danger.
This would have been fine, if the signals had been any use.
In order to maintain radio silence, William D Porter used a signal lamp in an effort to warn Iowa of the danger.
This would have been fine, if the signals had been any use.
They weren't.
The first one misidentified the torpedo's direction, and the second simply provided Iowa with the baffling information that William D Porter intended to go backwards.
The first one misidentified the torpedo's direction, and the second simply provided Iowa with the baffling information that William D Porter intended to go backwards.
In an atmosphere of what can only have been abject panic, William D Porter broke radio silence to warn Iowa, which carried out the battleship equivalent of a handbrake turn.
Fortunately, this was enough and the torpedo exploded in Iowa's wake.
Fortunately, this was enough and the torpedo exploded in Iowa's wake.
Iowa trained her 16 inch guns on the destroyer, in case she had gone genuinely rogue.
I suspect everyone on her bridge would have gladly been blown out of the water by that stage.
I suspect everyone on her bridge would have gladly been blown out of the water by that stage.
President Roosevelt thought the whole thing was funny.
Admiral King, chief of the US Navy and a tiny bit irascible even when his own ships *weren't* trying to kill him, did not.
Admiral King, chief of the US Navy and a tiny bit irascible even when his own ships *weren't* trying to kill him, did not.
There was an inquiry.
Lawton Dawson, the torpedo rating responsible, was sentenced to hard labour.
President Roosevelt later intervened to reduce his punishment.
Lawton Dawson, the torpedo rating responsible, was sentenced to hard labour.
President Roosevelt later intervened to reduce his punishment.
A more painful and lasting legacy for the embarrassed crew of William D Porter was having to put up with every other Navy ship greeting with them with the signal 'Don't shoot! We're Republicans!'.
