I leave the hospital now after more than 52 hours of nonstop work, minimal sleep, minimal food and a rage of emotions. The event was tragic. There are no words that truly describe the horrific scene, but what we were going through can't be left untold.
@AUBMC_Official

It only took 10 minutes of watchful silence after the blast before the doors of hell opened. The emergency department was dark, ceiling down in many corners and all we were surrounded with were screams, blood and open wounds.
#Beirut_Explosion

Being the only string of sanity in a collapsing world is not easy. All the burden starts from the first moment you decide to detach yourself from your own urge to panic and collect your focus to respond to a mass of helplessness that is fiercely trying to grasp on to you.

With the flood of casualties through one door where an attempt of triage was going on, all concepts of treating and healing were not applicable. We were left to improvise so we make the best of what we have in terms of equipment and manpower.

Our response was unprecedented. Attendings, residents, students, nurses, clerks, housekeeping, and hospital staff gathered in every empty space to provide aid. There was no moment in my life where I felt more in touch with my own and my surrounding humanity

Casualties varied from simple lacerations to holes in the hearts. Many people had to be moved to the operating room and it felt like we were racing time and uncertainty. In treating mass trauma there are few basic rules and all else is left to your hunch .

The agility surgeons were working in was fictional. People were put on operating tables, opened, fixed and disposed in no time. Many of the injured did not make it, but we were only left with our emotionless detachment that held our sanity to move and save the next life.

As time passed throughout midnight, the scene became slower. Hundreds were discharged home and we were left with nearly a hundred admitted patients. A hundred patient to round on starting midnight. Time gave us a break but exhaustion became the enemy.

The next day, casualties continued to flood into the emergency department but in a slower more organized manner. People were devastated, scared and wounded. With no rest, in what seemed like a one long never ending day, all doctors and nurses seemed to still have it all together.

What happened was not only a physical blast, it was an emotional explosion on all levels. In a country that is already drowning, we are still failing to find a rock bottom to lean on. We don't want it to get better anymore, we just want it to stop being worse.

The greatest feeling is not sadness, not anger, not despair, it is abandonment. We already lost all hope in a selfish comatosed, and now, a criminal personnel that is governing us against our will. However, we are now losing hope in its essence.

People don't want to hear that they are strong or they will rise. They are not. They are broken, they are helpless, they are abandoned. They are targeted. They don't have the force to rise like a phoenix. They need help. They need something to lean on, at least for a breath.

In my capacity as a doctor, and in the name of all the doctors I have seen fiercely fighting their own battle yesterday, I tell you, it will take much more than an uprising, economic crises, currency collapse, hyperinflation, corona pandemic and a massive blast to hold us back.

We will always detach from our own emotions and remain the string of strength and sanity holding this collapsing people until we all find that light in the end of this long dark tunnel.
#Beirut_Explosion