Can-can the Jack Johnson experiment be over, already? We have enough data. The hypothesis of "Jack Johnson is good, actually" has been proven absolutely false. Please, lord, just end this end. It would be a mercy killing at this point.

Yep. "End this end." I type as well as Jack Johnson defends.

I once had a bad reaction to an antibiotic and spent an entire night hugging my toilet and puking and the next morning I still had more life than what the Penguins are playing with this game.

The bench door just got stuck open and I bet Jack Johnson would still have a hard time stopping it from swinging shut.