Rowena is actually incredibly vulnerable for most of season 10 UNTIL she meets Sam Winchester, proving their connection (platonic or otherwise) from the start- a thread (pls lemme know what y’all think of it):

Rowena relies solely on the trust/gullibility of others in order to survive because it’s likely the only way that she’s ever gotten anything in life, but it also means she lives on a timer, milestoning between how long it takes for each person’s trust in her intentions to run out

For most of S10 she isn’t at full magical capacity, she has no financial power else she wouldn’t be killing for hotel rooms and as soon as Crowley stops trusting her and she loses the title of Queen Mother she no longer has leverage in getting the things she wants

Without her ability to manipulate she hasn’t got a whole lot.

The utter desperation in her eyes when Crowley kicks her out at the end of 10.17 doesn’t appear fake, that furious dejection continues as she walks down the street alone...she’s done that walk a million times and she’s tired of it, resigned, almost defeated but still defiant

At this point are we to believe Rowena is weak? Absolutely not, there is still fire, a stubbornness as she refuses to be defeated...she’s lived too long and she’s accustomed to surviving now. It’s clear that more than anything she’s angry, downtrodden now but not for long

However up until this point she has relied on her ability to manipulate, pull people in close enough to use them until she no longer has a use for them (the mortal girls from Raul’s) or they come to their senses and kick her out before she has the chance (Crowley)

This is no doubt how she’s gotten through much of her life, UNTIL the end of 10.18 when she officially meets and has a conversation with Sam for the first time. She is given the power to utter the final line of the ep; ‘shall we discuss terms?’ marking a turning point for her

Of course, she’s been given this power before, her debut scene closed the episode it aired on and left us wondering for three more episodes who the hell she was, but this time is different. This time she’s not the underdog, or the snake. This time she’s at the bargaining table

Sam goes to HER for help, seeks HER out and finally she has something that someone else needs and is willing to negotiate for, and that someone is one of the main characters, someone who is supposed to be the bookworm, the one who saves the day but now Rowena holds the cards

Rowena’s meeting with Sam is the beginning of a long line of events in which her actions save the day, and a major turning point in her development as a character. Not only that but the fact that this turning point AND future turning points for her almost always...

...involve Sam foreshadows an undeniable connection between the two, beyond the ‘He is her death’ plot. Of course Rowena only entertains these kinds of deals because she can get something in return, particularly at the start, but as time goes on the repayment seems less important

In the Rupture Rowena dies for the final time at the hand of Sam (as was not foreshadowed but ominously confirmed) and then we discover she has become Queen of Hell (as she deserves). But did Rowena really need to sacrifice herself to save the world to be queen? And was...

...queenhood on her mind when she told Sam to kill her? If anything it comes across as a bonus, frankly if Rowena wanted the throne that badly by then, she would have taken it without the sacrificial moment. Except by now, she cares for Sam, the world, more than just herself

We know that redemption is a major aspect of Rowena’s arc, but Sam’s impact on that is clearly evident, right from season 10, and it goes beyond her becoming a better person, she is given a chance to grasp that power she eventually wields when she gets to negotiate with him

Whether their connection is romantic is up to the viewer (personally I live and breathe for Samwena) but whatever the nature of their connection, it’s there and always has been, and is integral to Rowena’s development