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Here’s my thread of why I have trust issues and sometimes get overly sad about things because I need to vent:
It is really wild to be that I question why people are being nice to me and thinking that they want something from me when maybe, just maybe, they want to be nice and have good souls
Or as soon as I’m starting to get to know someone, I think they will just walk away or loose interest because a person who I’ve been in relatively deep relations with and trusted so much has done that to me and acted like nothing happened. (tbh, that has probably hurt the most)
I also just second guess things because I’ve been hurt badly by both friends and lovers in the past. They have lied, manipulated, and gone behind my back on things they shouldn’t have. And when I finally found out the truth, it stung because I trusted them
And I’m the type of person that when I love and trust you, I’m all in. I don’t know another way tbh. I can’t love or care about people half assed
And like I know part of this is probably my fault for not seeing some of those things happening. But like, I want to see the good in people. I’m also just a relatively positive person!
It also doesn’t help that I grew up in a house hold where I was constantly told to not trust anyone who wasn’t my family. But as I got older, I also learned that not everyone I’m related to is a trustworthy person.
Don’t get me wrong though! I’m making a conscious effort to better myself and get past my trust issues, especially with the people I’m already super trustworthy of. (Yes, doubt will sometimes fill my head because of close friends in the past betraying me)
But honestly, I’m just upset and am having a hard day with all of this today
