I always used to hate when people would tell teenage me that "some day you'll understand why your father did what he did".

I also used to secretly hope it was true.

Well, it hasn't turned out to be. I'm 26, when am I finally going to stop hating my dad with a burning passion?

We've been no contact for years. Our only recent contact was me trying to get money out of him in 2019. As with everything related to him, he said he'd send some then never did. (Shocking.)

I am no closer to understanding him. Maybe I somehow hate him more? Ugh.