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My 16 yr old has her two Hispanic friends staying over for the summer. They stay up late playing fortnight. Sleep all day. We are quarantining together. It’s a vibe. They don’t cook. I do all the cooking. I go to bed they are still up I ask if they need anything before I retire.
They say no.. so I go to bed. I sleep naked. Robe at the foot of my king sized bed. I sleep alone. I’m single. Is what it is... I’m sleeping good. Then it happens. I hear “mama there is a fire in the kitchen. Fuck. My. Life.
It’s my daughters friend. Her voice is soft, but I pop up. I’m a mom. I don’t sleep hard. 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏾♀️" title="Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)"> I’m naked. Remember that part. I get up. Run to the kitchen. Ass naked. There is a fire in my kitchen. I panic... I’m barely awake.
Let me set the scene back a little. Halfway down the hall to the kitchen, I caught that I was naked. Covered my cootchie and my boobs with both hands and continue to run down the hall. Whyyyyyy didn’t I just go grab the robe. There was a fire. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤷🏽♀️" title="Achselzuckende Frau (mittlerer Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Achselzuckende Frau (mittlerer Hautton)">
I get to the kitchen and hands are moving to find baking soda... yes there is a fire extinguisher but I dont want to use that. It’s 2am. I’m naked. Barely awake. There is a fire. All complete logic is in lala land. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen"> cuz these bad ass kids wanna cook at 2am.
So I put the fire out and NOW I’ve become aware of my full bodied nakedness. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏾♀️" title="Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Frau schlägt sich die Hand vors Gesicht (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)"> Salt and pepper cootchie hair and all. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht">
