for many people, this a way of expressing empathy, which is understandable! often this is well intentioned, but it can be a problematic habit because it doesn't always come across as empathetic as intended. and it's hard habit to break, so here's my advice https://twitter.com/fxckingvalid/status/1291031641369051136

take it another step. if someone tells you something and you've had a similar experience that gives you insight and empathy for theirs, hold that in your mind but go a step further. what would you have wanted to hear in that moment?

what affirmation offered you comfort during that experience? think about what you felt and validate the feeling. say something like "i really see why you're frustrated about that. that sort of thing happening can be so aggravating"

you can say things to indicate that you share their experiences without saying "i've been through that" or sharing your own story

you can also always default to validating emotions. "that sounds really [feeling]" works pretty well whether you've experienced something or not. sometimes a simple "that sucks" is all someone needs when they just need someone to listen

and remember, you don't always know what someone is going through. even if the situation sounds similar to you, they may be experiencing it totally differently. whenever you can, try to center the other person's experience

ask questions, validate their feelings, ask what they need, and ask if you can help in certain ways (provide specifics if you can but leave space to say no)