I started watching Sex and The City last night. I don’t know why, it really isn’t good

It’s bad but I also can’t stop watching it with this bizarre sort of fascination? About just how wrong it is, or just how clearly it was not written by women, or about what was “cool” in the late 90s — I completely forgotten that song “you and me and the bottle makes 3 tonight”

Watching it feels a little like watching Everything is Terrible

And going from that to I May Destroy You is the ULTIMATE mood whiplash

Hold on CARRIE DOESN’T VOTE

OK, yeah, I was expecting the bisexuality angle to be bad, but it seems really bad even for its time??? I remember the early 2000s, Dan Savage and even fucking loveline were like “no, bisexuality is a thing”

I... think Samantha just assaulted two men in back to back episodes?

Aidan seems decent and not at all good for Carrie, who is not decent

Miranda is getting tested for THE FIRST TIME and she is in her 30s?!

I got tested for the first time at 18, BEFORE I had sex. I mean I’m neurotic, but still

I have learned from this show that most of being a lawyer is talking about how you want to be made partner and sometimes typing

Did they REALLY get a BORDER COLLIE in MANHATTAN

I’ve never known a guy like Aidan. I’ve known a lot of Portland lesbians like him, though

Carrie got her left and right brain sides confused. Can’t even get her 2000s psychobabble right

Samantha actually dresses the best IMO

I’m honestly glad I got to Kyle MacLachlan, he’s always the best part of everything he’s in

They all freak out over how WASPy Charlotte’s pre-wedding party is, but like... YOU’RE ALL WASPY

Matthew Mcconaughey is yelling at Carrie

Their wardrobe is starting to turn into the 2000s fashions I knew and loved/hated

Carrie and Vince Vaughn (?!?!?!) have sex in a hot tub and all I could think was well that’s not good for your blood pressure

CARRIE FISHER

OK I think I actually liked the Hot Child in the City episode?

But also like so many people live with their parents these days and it’s not a big fucking deal, it’s just because of circumstances.

Is Trey ace

The hottest man Miranda has ever seen looks EXACTLY THE SAME as all the other men on this show, which is to say, aging former 80s male model. Like the model for an old Ken doll

The college kid Sam Jones basically assaulted the other Sam Jones?! But she’s promiscuous so it’s OK lol

Carrie apologizing to Natasha felt like a very mature and un-Carrie thing to do until Natasha spoke, it’s clearly just Carrie being narcissistic

Jesus Samantha if the sex workers are being too loud at night just buy a fucking white noise machine and let them work

Samantha CALLS THE COPS on the trans sex workers for being loud? Fuck you forever Samantha

She could have gotten them killed!

And she was gentrifying THEIR neighborhood

OK but now they’re hanging on a roof and are all friends?!

Samantha deserves the egg in her face and much worse

Charlotte has Smints in her purse! I miss Smints. Especially peach Smints

They fantasize about Russell Crowe? Being straight is wild

I guess he was fun in The Nice Guys

It is not fair that after doing bisexuals so dirty they got Alan Cumming AND Margaret Cho in the same episode

Big is making fun of a jazz musician but I guarantee it’s less bullshit than whatever job he has

OK it’s starting to feel like Cho, Cumming, and the Samantha/Maria thing is an attempt to make it up to bisexuals

Samantha pronounces it cli-TOR-is

Miranda and Carrie are basically making “attack helicopter” jokes about Samantha dating a woman “I’m a fire hydrant!” “I’m a shoe!” You are a BORING

Charlotte never seems to go in on the politically correct talk or making fun of other people so honestly I think she’s my favorite.

Also, I always just like really earnest, self-serious characters. They are the funniest

Those of you hating this are well within your rights to mute me until this is over, but I’ve been losing my mind in quarantine and somehow this is helping???

I really like Ray the jazz guy but then, I have bad ADHD

Carrie has not ever used email, as a writer in New York, in her 30s, in 2001?

Carrie is the worst about being in a cabin and is afraid of squirrels??? THERE ARE SQUIRRELS IN NEW YORK.

But Aidan put ice on a burn so he’s not coming off well, either

You know Cynthia Nixon is a good actress because she has had to laugh, several times, at Carrie’s terrible, terrible jokes

Oh god Samantha is going to fuck James Remar. I know him! I worked with him on Miracle when I was six!

Big was nowhere near as bad as Carrie in the first and second seasons but now he’s definitely caught up

“Best blind date I ever had—in the continental USA!” is... a line

The abortion episode was actually not bad, sometimes this show lives up to its “groundbreaking for its time” label

Although Maude did the same thing in the 70s, so...

It is also interesting to see if Miranda going from “I’ve never fucking having kids” to “I think I want to have kids.” That does happen sometimes. And it’s very clear that Carrie and Samantha are very much never going to have them and that’s seen as good and fine

The cardboard baby thing is right out of Twin Peaks, they cast Kyle MacLachlan well

Oh God, is this where straight women hanging out at gay clubs came from? That’s like the only place that I went dancing in college.

Of course, I wasn’t straight, but still not what gay guys in New York want to see at their space

We always went with gay guy friends, and it was also the only place we could go without getting grabbed by sketchy guys. Well, most of the time.

The product placement is becoming way more obvious and way funnier

Oh GOD Carrie just said “shake things up” and then picked up a SNOWGLOBE and then I DIED

OK this is the worst Carrie outfit so far

Charlotte just yelled at Andre De Shields?! How can you yell at Andre De Shields?

Carrie’s sexual harassment at Vogue is... kind of played for laughs?

I feel like most people I know, regardless of gender, who stay away from love or relationships as much as Samantha does, have a REASON for it. Maybe they’re on the aromantic spectrum. Maybe they have trauma. Otherwise, they at least have some friends with benefits.

SOMEONE: So are you a Carrie, a Miranda, a Charlotte, or a Samantha

ME: Well ACTUALLY I’m more of a MANHATTAN. Because it’s REALLY the FIFTH character in the show if you think about i

Thinking more about Samantha. Would solo polyamorist be the word for her? It seems like that’s what she is but suddenly she wants to be monogamous with Richard and it just… Doesn’t feel right, from a character perspective, for her to be suddenly very possessive and jealous.

It is possible that I am overthinking what was a very of its time fluffy show

The most unrealistic aspect of the show is how Carrie is always SHOCKED to see people doing coke

There are always very thin people waiting to go into the bathroom IN GROUPS in Manhattan. And in Queens. And in Brooklyn.

Carrie wears her scrubs OFF ONE SHOULDER while HELPING MIRANDA GIVE BIRTH because she’s Carrie

“Manthrax” — yes, this was made in 2002

They’re so excited about Fleet Week but I usually just saw the sailors hanging around outside of gay clubs

Carrie, you’re freaked out about seeing your friend’s breasts? She needs to feed her fucking child. And you’re a sex columnist.

Charlotte is wearing a hat that is a pink and beige argyle tweed trilby and Anthony, a STYLIST, somehow still compliments her on it

Carrie made an offhand sarcastic comment to Miranda about how most men aren’t good in bed

Maybe you could write about THAT and how to fix it instead of your usual navel-gazing moaning over Big and complaining about Aidan being too nice, Carrie

Carrie doesn’t want to wear Samantha’s “sexy chic” outfit for her book cover, and throws a tantrum about it, but it’s not much different than anything else she wears

PSA: jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker’s looks don’t fly with me, she’s an Ashkenazi woman who looks Ashkenazi, as am I, and we get enough shit for it

We are literally the images of what people think of when they think of evil witches, could you not contribute to that please

Carrie admits to being lonely, which would be admirable if she hadn’t been single for like five minutes

Cool, cool, Stanford making racist jokes about Michiko Kakutani’s name

Harry is one of the first characters on this show I have liked right away, hopefully he stays good

Samantha wanting to return a vibrator is fucking wild, but what DO you do with an old one

I have seen Heather Graham in person before and I remember thinking myself “wow that looks like a younger Heather Graham” but apparently she just ages in reverse??? She looked amazing.

Both Miranda’s childcare problems AND the misery on the train are good arguments for better funding public services

MR. WINKLE! I LOVED MR. WINKLE

Carrie feels weird about what she wrote about Big in her book, which actually makes her finally relatable to me. I mean I just described myself as “straight” in my book

First Weight Watchers, now TiVo, how many of Miranda’s storylines are just going to be product placement?

Oh god the bad puns just keep coming in season six

Carrie’s a sex columnist who can’t talk dirty (unless she’s drunk)?

Harry has gotten annoying but Smith is cute