A thread on how to stay away from haram relationships :)

!DISCLAIMER!-This thread is in no way aimed towards anyone, it’s just some tips that I use and would advise others who are struggling with this as it is very common nowadays and it can be difficult, hope it can help anyone who needs it ;)

1. REMEMBERANCE: first and foremost we must remember and address the fact that relationships are haram. They are haram for a reason, nothing that is good for us is haram, relationship can cause severe heartbreaks which can lead to depression and much much worse, relationships-

Are forbidden to protect us, in Islam it is only permissible to marry simply so that people can realise the commitment and responsibilities that come with a relationship and won’t treat it like something temporary and abuse it. Wasting eachothers’ time and playing with emotions

2. RELATIONSHIP WITH ALLAH- focus on your own personal relationships first. Friends, family and Allah. If you’re relationship with Allah isn’t good how can you expect a relationship with someone to work? When your relationship with Allah is good everything will be in your favour

3. SELF CARE- a lot of people see relationships as a source of happiness and freedom, what they don’t realise is relying on a person for happiness is so damaging to both you and your partner. A relationship, especially when it’s haram, will never satisfy you fully-

“Don’t give control of your heart and mind to anyone but Allah- people will hurt you”- Mufti Menk
Relying on anyone besides Allah for happiness and contentment will never work

4. KEEP OCCUPIED- Keeping yourself busy is vital, busy yourself with work, revision, reading, hobbies, sports, friends, family etc. Most “talking stages” start out of boredom, and shaytaan uses your boredom and vulnerability in his favour, which links to my next point:

5. REMOVE TEMPTATIONS- if you think you are easily tempted by social media or your friends etc, remove these things or at least limit them; reduce the number of followers of the opposite gender you have, only allow DM’s from your friends or don’t reply to others’ -

-entertaining DM’s is not only a waste of both of your time but also sinful, try to reduce talking to the opposite gender excessively and unnecessary, if someone is serious about you they’ll respect your decisions and wait for you or go about it the halal way, KNOW YOUR WORTH!!

6. IDEAL SPOUSE- think about your ideal spouse in the future, are you worthy of them? Would you want them to have had loads of DM’s and relationships in the past? Things like relationships and zina can be forgiven but not undone, avoid it at all costs.

“We are not who the person we would want to marry would marry”-Mufti Menk
Also remember for both brothers and sisters:
“Women of purity are for men of purity and men of purity are for women of purity” -Quran 24:26-Surah An-Nur
Your sacrifices will be worth it in the end

7. TRUST ALLAH: Allah is the decider and has already written your spouse for you, so make dua for a good righteous spouse and strive to be the best muslim you can be in order to be able to deserve someone on the same level as you.

8. HALAL DATING/ COURTING: most Muslims nowadays think the only way you can get to know someone even for the purpose of marriage is by texting and meeting up, if you’re looking for marriage, you can still do these things, but get a mahram or Wali involved-

Remember the Hadith:
“No man is alone with a woman but the shaytaan is the third one present” -narrated by Ahmad, Al Tirmidhi and Al-Hakim, Sahih by Al-Albaani in Sahih Al-Jami (2546)-

-If you are getting to know someone for marriage, have a wali in the group chat just to be a witness, any conversation between the two of you should be able to be read by others

9. SELF CONTROL: as a human, it’s not always easy to do these thing Sc but try your best, remember that Prophet Yusuf was faced with a severe case of this when his master; Pharoah’s wife, tried to seduce him, this couldve highered his social status and given him money and power-

But solely for the sake of Allah, he refused and ran away from her, ripping his t-shirt, causing rumours to be spread about him. He made dua to Allah and said
“Oh Allah, even if I have to be taken to prison, I would prefer that than this situation”- he was taken to prison-

For a crime he did not commit but for the sake of Allah he endured it, subhanallah if he can dk that I’m sure we can not reply to some messages it’s all about self control.

10. BE PATIENT: not having talking stages or relationships does not mean stay single forever, it means be patient and stay pure and make dua for the right person to come at the right time and insha’allah you will have a blessed happy marriage. Relationships are something that-

Are eventually halal, so why waste a sin on it? All you need is patience. If you’re in a relationship you should try to make it halal as soon as possible and repent for any previous actions taken
May Allah make it easy for us all and keep us guided on the right path

Again, this thread is just things I do and advice that helps me, pls don’t always anything personally, I am in no way better than anyone who is in or have been in relationships, just some friendly advice :)