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I hoped to start my debut solo #Edinburgh #EdFringe run today with my show "Clarissa Explains it All" (a brief explanation of every question ever asked - plus jokes at the end if there's time.) Sadly, it was not to be. Here's some things I explained during it's @CamdenFringe run:
(BTW the show came about because everyone I meet asks me to explain it all & I decided to give the public what they want.)
(Everyone laughed when I said I’d explain it all in one show, but they weren’t laughing 13hrs in - so I decided to cut it down to about 50mins & add jokes.)
(Everyone laughed when I said I’d explain it all in one show, but they weren’t laughing 13hrs in - so I decided to cut it down to about 50mins & add jokes.)
(Note: The explanations spanned science, philosophy, politics & the ending of LOST and these are just a sample of the things explained)
Q1. Where are the toilets? A. Through that door.
(Admittedly, this one was highly specific to the venue I was in at the time.)
Q1. Where are the toilets? A. Through that door.
(Admittedly, this one was highly specific to the venue I was in at the time.)
Q2. What is something you should never do because it negatively affects your brain chemistry? A. Mix alcohol and painkillers.
I learned that the hard way! (By revising for my A-Level chemistry exams. Awful.)
I learned that the hard way! (By revising for my A-Level chemistry exams. Awful.)
Q3. What was the only feel good news story of 2019? A. When a man was resuscitated after he had a cardiac arrest and "clinically died" at a Phil Collins concert on the "Not Dead Yet" tour.
The rest of the news stories were pretty much terrible.
The rest of the news stories were pretty much terrible.
Q4. When will there finally be no more Windows 10 updates? A. In the year 2066, finally, the LAST EVER enforced Windows update will take place.
(It'll be because humans are wiped out by a nuclear apocalypse, but still - the updates stop!
)
(It'll be because humans are wiped out by a nuclear apocalypse, but still - the updates stop!
)
Q5. How do you know if you have a debilitating Frappucinno addiction problem? A. If there’s any question in your mind whatsoever, then you have a Frappuccino problem.
(Also applies if you are drinking a Frappuccino in January.)
(Also applies if you are drinking a Frappuccino in January.)
Q6. Have there been any notable long running, bloodless wars in recent history? A. Yes: the "Storage Wars" on US TV. (If you watch all the different TV series back to back consecutively, then it is actually the longest running conflict in human history.)
Q7. How to I do my makeup exactly like Bruce Willis in the horror classic "The Sixth Sense?" A. Everyone wants to know this, and it is actually covered in great detail by my colleague @GlitzyGhostHunt here:
Hopefully one day I can perform my show properly, but until then - I hope this is helpful.
I just ask that the next time you meet someone called Clarissa & instinctively start to ask them to "explain it all"... think about this thread first.
#Edinburgh #edfringe #edfringe2020
I just ask that the next time you meet someone called Clarissa & instinctively start to ask them to "explain it all"... think about this thread first.
#Edinburgh #edfringe #edfringe2020
