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This is going to be a long thread. A lot of rambling. I’ll jump all over the place. I’m going to be vulnerable and hopefully encouraging. I do have a point though.
This last 12 months have been the hardest of my life and I’m not even getting into before that...
This last 12 months have been the hardest of my life and I’m not even getting into before that...
I have struggled mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Last August I lost one of my soldiers, I was one of the last to talk to him and when I saw him, there was nothing I could do and I felt helpless. All I could do was yell his name and ask him to talk to me,
I saw him and I knew he was gone but I didn’t want to accept it. For months I asked if it was my fault, what could I have done differently. I’ve had to have some long talks in therapy just to release things I’ve been holding onto for years.
I’m angry, I’m bitter, and I have isolated myself. Physically my body has taken a toll and I’ve spent months in physical therapy. I’ve always tried to ignore my pains and I haven’t wanted to accept that I couldn’t go like I used to.
I found out this week I had been diagnosed wrong for the last couple years for an issue I was having. I feel like my body is making a turn for the better.
Emotionally, I’m tired. I have always been great at pretending I have it all together. I always wanted to be an actor and I have spent my entire life practicing for it. I never let people in all the way, I let you see exactly what I want you to see.
Just when I thought it was going to get better, 2020 came along. I thought this would be my year of vision, focus, setting my life on a course for greatness. I set out to take care of my body, I also set out to run the most miles that I ever had in a year. Then covid hit.
I have always thrived off of people. I’m social, I love crowds. These last few months have been chaos but I’m a fighter. My parents must have known what they were doing because that’s what my name means. Harvey Owen - Army Warrior Young Fighter!!!
That’s been spoken over me every day of my life. I believe it’s why I wanted to be a soldier since I was a kid. It’s the reason I don’t like to quit no matter how bad it sucks. I fight!
I’ve seen a lot of death and hate the last few years and it’s hard to watch. I’ve lost buddies to suicide, to accidents, to war, and overdose.... I’ve talked friends off the ledge, I do my best to be there for whoever needs me.
Spiritually, I’m going through a valley season. I always know exactly who to blame and it ain’t the big man upstairs. I vent to Him a lot, say I’m sorry a lot, go without talking to Him a lot, and everyday remind myself that He still loves me a lot.
Work and Home have been complete CHAOS this year. I’m writing all this to say.... You are more than capable of climbing out of the hole you’re in, no matter how deep it has gotten. Your mind, body, and soul were created for supernatural things. You still have a fight in you.
Every breath you breath is another God given opportunity. These days are dark and gloomy, people are hating each other. The world is struggling. Find it in you to fight for what’s right. Fight for love and equality. Fight for those who don’t have a voice.
Put yourself to the side and make an impact on someone’s life. Keep your thoughts to yourself, unless they are uplifting.
I decided to go for a run to let out some stress. My mind and soul told my body to hold its tongue. I pushed myself harder than I have in a while. I even yelled a few times just to let it out. It paid off. I crushed my normal times and ran faster than I have in years.
I can’t remember the last time i ran harder and farther. It might have been 2011. I was determined to fight this run. Ignore the pain, ignore everything. I just ran 5 miles last week in 46 mins. I ran it in 39 tonight. And then I decided to keep my sub 8 min pace and keep going.
I gave it everything I had to get to 8 miles under an 8 minute pace but I did it. We can do a lot of things if we set our minds to it. So decide to fight today. Decide to climb out of the hole you feel buried in. Get back up! It’s ok that you fell, you don’t have to stay down!