My mother: Please don’t talk about your brother’s dating life on Twitter

So, from this day forward, any references to my brother & his love life will go under the pseudonym “Scott”

2020 needs this love story

We are all rooting for you Scott.

Godspeed.

Also me: But mom!!!! I am a storyteller! Love stories must be told!!

Mother: ...but?? This isn’t actually YOUR story???

Me:

Mom:

(Me opening the log in my drafts): *Dear Twitter, at 11:35pm I received a text from “Scott”. He seemed happy...*

As a side note you should all know I have an excellent relationship with my siblings and I am 65% sure I am my brother’s favorite. So like. It’s fine.

No one else will probably think this is funny but tonight I came up with a hashtag for this and I can’t stop laughing. #shootyourscott