tw relationship abuse mention //

if ur a survivor of abusive/toxic/unhealthy relationship, open this thread. (not supposed to be intentionally triggering)

abuse ment /

you do not need to talk to your abuser for closure. your abuser does not need to be present for you to move on.

abuse ment /

if your abuser apologizes to you or tries to reach out to you, you are not obligated to engage.

abuse ment /

if your abuser realizes the relationship was horrible before you did, that does not make you the bad guy. that does not make you the perpetrator.

abuse ment /

abusers do not need to talk to their victims for "closure." please don't believe you have to eventually talk to them if you don't want to.

abuse ment /

you do not need to form a friendship/relationship with your abuser to heal.

implied abuse /

it's okay if you felt like the relationship was good for awhile. it's okay if you came back to them once, twice, or several times. that does not mean you enjoyed it or deserved it.

abuse ment /

you are not obligated to stay friends with your abuser's friends/family.

abuse ment /

you do not owe your abuser anything. you do not owe them an essay, closure, a conversation, or any of the sort.

you do not need a romantic relationship to "fix" you. you can heal without involving yourself in romance. and if you do want to take that route, please be gentle to yourself.

it's okay to be afraid of getting into a relationship. you aren't a coward. it's a natural response to protect yourself.

abuse ment /

you are not wrong for wanting to go back to that relationship, especially if it's so recently after the breakup. it's a natural emotional reaction in relationships with power dynamics. you were conditioned to depend on them. it's okay to still feel that way.

implied abuse /

there is a difference between love and fear, even if they feel so similar. i promise you a healthy relationship does not feel that terrifying and unstable. not every relationship you go through is going to feel like that.

abuse ment /

you did not let your abuser hurt you. you did not let them take advantage of you. you didn't let anything happen. it just happened.

there wasn't a sole reason for that experience to happen. there isn't an explanation that the universe or god(s) can give you to give you closure. sometimes terrible things happen for no reason. it's awful and unfair and you're allowed to feel angry, upset, hurt.

time does heal wounds, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. even if you can't stop thinking about it. as time goes on, your mind will naturally distance itself, and those feelings won't be so strong so often. i promise.

wrote this as a late night thing bc ive been thinking. added tws to the ones that might be triggering. pls take care of urselves, i love you.