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What is toxic positivity? and why you should cut it out?
Toxic positivity has the idea that we should focus only on positive emotions and the positive aspects of life. It's the belief that if we ignore difficult emotions and the parts of our life that aren't working as well, we'll be much happier.
The problem is, toxic positivity oversimplifies the human brain and how we process emotions, and it can actually be detrimental to our mental health.
There can be long-term effects of toxic positivity including encouraging a person to remain silent about their struggles.
Feeling connected to and heard by others is one of the most powerful antidotes to depression and anxiety, while isolation fuels these emotional issues. Often, trying to hide or deny feelings can lead to more stress on the body and difficulty in avoiding upsetting emotions.
Unblinking optimism and shutting down the door on negative feelings doesn't make them go away; if anything, it exacerbates them.
Ways we use it against people:
It can look like this...
A: "I'm worried about my future."
B: "Worrying won't fix anything. You need to think positively, put good vibes out into the universe."
A: "I'm worried about my future."
B: "Worrying won't fix anything. You need to think positively, put good vibes out into the universe."
...or this...
A: "it's just so exhausting to live in a world where ppl hate me for existing."
B: "But most ppl are good! You need to focus on the good guys! You just remember the bad ones more!"
A: "it's just so exhausting to live in a world where ppl hate me for existing."
B: "But most ppl are good! You need to focus on the good guys! You just remember the bad ones more!"
...or this...
A: "I'm going to be sick for the rest of my life..."
B: "But they could find a cure tomorrow! Don't think so negatively! You need to stay hopeful! Hope is the best medicine! Stay positive!"
A: "I'm going to be sick for the rest of my life..."
B: "But they could find a cure tomorrow! Don't think so negatively! You need to stay hopeful! Hope is the best medicine! Stay positive!"
You may think you are being encouraging but you are just shutting down a meaningful conversation about someones pain and showing them you don't care enough to listen.
Try this instead(sharing the load):
A: "I'm going to be sick for the rest of my life."
B: "I'm sorry you're in pain. Tell me more while I make us some food."
A: "I'm going to be sick for the rest of my life."
B: "I'm sorry you're in pain. Tell me more while I make us some food."
or this(distraction)
A: The world is stressing me out, everything is bad and I can't focus, I feel pointless."
B: "Let's put on one of you're favorite movies. You can fold the laundry while i send that email for you. It's okay to cry."
A: The world is stressing me out, everything is bad and I can't focus, I feel pointless."
B: "Let's put on one of you're favorite movies. You can fold the laundry while i send that email for you. It's okay to cry."
or this(listening to them vent)
B: "You are not a burden. I am here, I am listening. Tell me how you feel."
A: "I'm so overwhelmed all the time and i just want to stay in bed all day, but that only..."
B: "You are not a burden. I am here, I am listening. Tell me how you feel."
A: "I'm so overwhelmed all the time and i just want to stay in bed all day, but that only..."
Toxic positivity is a bad habit, and everyone does it! I've done it, people i love have used it against me! And frankly, I can understand where it is coming from, but ultimately telling someone to look on the bright side instead of listening to them engaging with them is harmful-
to them and their relationship with you. I'm trying to cut it out of my behavior, because we aren't the worst people in the world for doing it, we're just people who need to change.
credits: @/sarah.mcdonald.artist on instagram (check out the link in her bio!!) #OpMentalHealth
