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I just asked @UrbanCryptid why the separatists hate the Republic and she had to pause Clone Wars and is now doing a full
She also called Yoda a “filthy little green war criminal”
She just referred to Emperor Palpatine as “Palps”
Good LORD Anakon looks like he needs the world’s longest nap. He looks like a long haul trucker about to down another five hour energy drink even though he knows it’s a bad idea
I just found out about Jedi child thievery and I’m so confused?? WHY IS EVERYONE COOL WITH THIS GROUP OF MAGIC MONK CHILD STEALERS
Hey guys?? Named characters die on this show in like, every episode? Sometimes several? Like they just did a close up on a mangled body? Is Star Wars ok???
“I would kill you both right now if I would not have to drag the bodies” is a hell of a line tho, you have to give Dooku that
This episode is just space pirates putting Dooku, Obi-Wan, and Anakin in the get along shirt to see what happens
HEY Y’ALL? They just TORTURED someone to DEATH on this CHILDREN’S TV SHOW???
Like fully on-screen?? Is this why Star Wars fans are Like That? Is this what hurt y’all?
Are they now going to torture a, like, what, thirteen year old? How old is Ahsoka? FOR REAL? (the red velvet bodysuit is very badass tho)
Anakin “I’ve never seen a rash decision I didn’t love” Skywalker
“Subjects of this age rarely survive the slave conditioning procedure” THE WHAT? THE WHAT NOW?
Obi-Wan “I’m about to be murdered and I’m making dad jokes about it” Kenobi
We’re watching episode one but I’m putting it in the Clone Wars thread bc Star Wars and like? Y’all? The Jedi do not look super great here
“I didn’t come to this planet to free slaves” and whymst the fuck not?!
“Do we ever get an explanation as to how Palpatine got all Sithy?” - she’s just paused the movie to explain the rule of two to me
We are now watching episode two and I have definitely seen people complain about episode 2/3 Anakin being insufferable but I meannn do you think a 19-20 year old boy with superpowers would be a super chill person to be around?
Because, I have to be completely honest with you, if I had superpowers I would absolutely use them in high speed air car chases and have a good time in the process and I’m 10+ years old than he’s supposed to be 
“These statues are literally out of a Sith temple. The Jedi are so stupid.” - @UrbanCryptid on Palps’s office decor
“Can you imagine, some guy you haven’t seen in ten years is suddenly in your bedroom yelling about his daddy issues?”
Coni and I are both identifying far too much with Anakin in this fireplace confession scene
the “you’re asking me to be rational, I know that is something I cannot do” line; wow, I’m also like that when dealing with a pretty girl I have a crush on
the “you’re asking me to be rational, I know that is something I cannot do” line; wow, I’m also like that when dealing with a pretty girl I have a crush on
I hate that I am equally attracted to cranky mullet-wearing Obi-Wan Ewan McGregor and well-dressed comic book villain in Birds of Prey Ewan McGregor
Padme just walked out in that flowy midriff getup and Coni and I both immediately 
at her abs
at her abs
JEEZ all of these scenes about Ani’s mom are so SAD no wonder this kid is fucked up six ways to Sunday
Padme’s whole “well I’m doing this and if you want to follow your orders and protect me you just have to come along” move is fantastic
honestly in Padme’s defense, if I’d had a week like this, I would probably also be like “fuck it, YOLO, I’m marrying the hotheaded idiot with superpowers, nobody can stop me”
ah wait
*hotheaded idiot with superpowers and deep-seated emotional trauma
*hotheaded idiot with superpowers and deep-seated emotional trauma
this is basically what it’s like watching any Star Wars content with Coni https://twitter.com/urbancryptid/status/1297662198987227145
okay but the “I love you” “you love me?” bit also reminds me of the She-Ra finale and landed a LITTLE harder than necessary because of it
Back to Clone Wars:
- Obi Wan just really goes around the entire galaxy flirting with everyone, huh?
- HEY? hey? The sentient wasp people just fuckin dragged someone off into a dark cave while they screamed, presumably killing them?? What? This show?
- Obi Wan just really goes around the entire galaxy flirting with everyone, huh?
- HEY? hey? The sentient wasp people just fuckin dragged someone off into a dark cave while they screamed, presumably killing them?? What? This show?
I *hate* this episode with the cave people but I do enjoy Obi Wan completely ignoring every order the green lady gives him even tho he constantly complaints about Anakin doing that
I HATE this episode with the cave zombies a LOT, this queen creature is horrible (although also I laugh every time I hear the word Poggle) OH MY GOD THE BRAIN WORM???
Obi Wan didn’t have nearly the amount of fear and/or caution required for dealing with a ding dang brainworm
The brainworms persist into this episode??? Hey? HEY?
*four more brainworms enter the scene*
“CONI why have you DONE THIS to me”
“I didn’t do shit, this is all on Dave Filoni”
“CONI why have you DONE THIS to me”
“I didn’t do shit, this is all on Dave Filoni”
I don’t know why Obi Wan has to flirt with Grievous or why we had to do an close up on the screaming clone soldier as he BLEW OUT THE AIRLOCK to DIE IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE
Return of the Sith:
“Does Obi-Wan ever put together that they traded droids?”
“I pretend I do not see it”
“Does Obi-Wan ever put together that they traded droids?”
“I pretend I do not see it”
The fact that Ewan McGregor is still hot both with a weird mullet and a Mormon dad haircut is honestly upsetting and unfair
I do respect that Anakin’s first move when faced with any problem is to stick a lightsaber in it, which is also how I would probably handle having a lightsaber
“Toxic positivity-ass little frog” - Coni on Yoda during his whole “death is natural” bit
Coni has pointed out I said “return” and not “revenge” earlier in this thread so I am acknowledging that error
