Thread by @merelydovely, I have only watched one and a half episode of Sleuth of [...]

I have only watched one and a half episode of Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty but I would like to formally announce that I am adopting Tang Fan as my son

WHAT IS THIS KABEDON

WHAT

*pins Tang Fan to the wall, gives him a once-over, stares down at his crotch*

"A fragile person like you would be torn to pieces. Do you still want to go?"

Tang Fan, scared and horny: "....Yes?"

And then it cuts to Tang Fan with his hair down undercover as an Oirat trader? I have been DYING to see his hair down, this show deLIVERS

And now we get some fluttery romantic music as he sees this extremely drunk girl with the red in her braids stumbling around, and just as you think it's going to be super weird and romantic, she backhands him abruptly across the face, like, FUCK your romantic music

I love her already

"Drunk girl with insane arm strength is holding on to my clothes and won't let me leave. Hmmmm. Oh I know!"

*removes clothes*

I love that they put braids in Tang Fan's "Oirat trader" hair. Like. Did Sui Zhuo help him with those. What was the process here.

omg tang fan voluntarily sharing food with his new man, it must be love

wait they go to find the abandoned cart that han zao died in, and the...the horse is still there? Why is there a horse there?

ohhh they brought the carriage with them as a prop to reconsider its original journey. okay. not the original horse.

"where's the best place to look at the this large map?" Tang Fan asks himself. "Ah! It's definitely squished into this child-sized carriage knee-to-knee with Sui Zhou!"

also did he just imply they've been squished in there for an hour

yay more food porn

god this show makes you so hungry

ahahahaa sui zhuo is dressing up in Oirat Trader Cosplay again and tang fan is all "cosplay?? more cosplay for me??? braids?????" and getting mad as hell when told he is not invited to the cosplay

aaaand now tang fan is getting his shitty fake beard ripped off. tang fan! what were you thinking! you are a twink and you cannot pass anything more masc than a twink!

(yes I know he goes the other direction in a later ep)

wait. "Department of Official Prostitutes"?

Aunt Dong blows on Sui Zhou's partly-eaten soup to flirt with him...so Tang Fan brings over Official Pei's untouched bowl of soup and blows on it before giving it to Sui Zhou...what is going on....

official pan, sorry. lao pei is the doctor.

now xue ling and sui zhou are back in their interrogation room and tang fan just waltzes down in there like "haven't you heard, i live here now"

love that for him

okay duo'erla and wuyunbulage are now attempting to extort silver from poor tang fan and he is threatening to rip up her cloak as she threatens to break his chopsticks

and sui zhou opens the doors

....

and then sui zhou closes the doors

yeah that seems about right

AHHH WE HAVE REACHED THE FIRST INSTANCE OF SUI ZHOU PAYING FOR TANG FAN'S FOOD i have been told to watch for more of this

LET TANG FAN FINISH HIS GOT-DAMN NOODLESSS

oooh sugar daddy got a raise, that means baby's getting FED

also did promotion get sui zhou a new uniform??

I can't believe they just lean straight into the sugar daddy thing??? like. i knew it was coming because it's what everyone described, but. "I make 25 a year and you make 150, how can I pay for myself

" "don't worry, I'll pay for you" like. they just go for it

he has to move out and also has to find 50 taels of silver to buy little dong'er out of her contract. oh my god please tell me they're not about to move in together and adopt a daughter, i'm getting my hopes up

FUCK

thEY DDID THATTTT

sui zhou: oh my god this asshole is the most annoying fucking waste of space why do i tolerate his presen--

*dong'er runs in sobbing in happiness to be rescued from the brothel, tang fan tears up her contract with a look of grim satisfaction*

sui zhou: ohhhh right

y'know in CQL they did the "gorgeous man surrounding by fluttering things" shot with the classic choice of flower petals, but in Sleuth they went for "scraps of the now-destroyed brothel contract of a 10-year-old girl" and I think that was very sexy of them

ffffuck now sui zhou is cooking??? because? he is?? the perfect man???

tang fan: da-ge~~~~~

sui zhou: what the fuck is wrong with you.

holy shit bath scene bath scene i'm not readyyyyy

....sui zhou was ALSO not ready

tang fan: ¬‿¬

tang fan: you needn't speak in such a surly way!

sui zhou: THIS IS JUST MY VOICE, YOU DIPSHIT

tang fan: I want to see the Crown Prince.

sui zhou, taken aback: that's an extraordinary request.

tang fan, who just completely took over sui zhou's life by simply asking for increasingly ridiculous things: have you MET me

*tang fan getting offered an endless amount of expensive candy by THE MOTHERFUCKING EMPEROR*

sui zhou, probably: shit i'm gonna need to up my game

tang fan: give me all your money.

*sui zhou immediately hands over his entire money pouch*

sui zhou, thinking: yeah that'll do it

goddammit tang fan stop getting 300% prettier every time you do Oriat Cosplay, it's bad for my heart

NUUUUUU THE CHOPSTICK

dong'er: "Why are you so angry after Da-ge left? Do you miss him? Then, why didn't you tell him?"

this child is the smartest person in the house, except maybe the sheep

why...why would tang fan think he could handle literally any kind of physical confrontation ever...sui zhou goes out of town for less than 24 hours and he's ready to challenge a warlord lady to a fight to the death. how is he still alive

absolutely dying at the looks of baffled disbelief on the faces of passing citizenry as tang fan strides off to meet his doom

very glad Sleuth is continuing the tradition of giving the badass woman a whip

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