"Is a virus alive?"
"Is Pluto a planet?"
"Is Louisiana Creole a language?"

Y'all

I don't think you understand exactly how many conversations in Academia are just "Is a hotdog a sandwich" for people with crushing student debt.
"Red queen or Court jester hypothesis?"

Now you're just being fancy to cover it up.
In order, by the way, yes, yes, yes, depends, and both, I say with all the confidence of a mediocre white man with no expertise.
I don't think y'all realize how serious I am.

We made the word "Henge," from the word "Stonehenge," and then decided that Stonehenge ISN'T A FUCK-DAMN HENGE.
Anyway, as @CoronaCoreanici put beautifully, "'How do we most efficiently carve reality at its joints' arguments are pointless without a broader understanding of the field of study"

And as @howardtayler was saying (and I agree!), taxonomies are tools. They serve PURPOSES.
The reason why "Are viruses alive?" matters depends on why you're studying them. Trying to find ways to Kill (sorry, "Denature") them? That might have a different frame of reference than studying how they evolve.

Here's NASA's working definition, btw:

https://www.sfu.ca/colloquium/PDC_Top/OoL/whatislife/Vikingmission.html
That's why my answer to the "Is a hot dog a sandwich?" question is actually this: https://twitter.com/NomeDaBarbarian/status/1290817395884347392
Words are tools. We use them for jobs. We forget, in our "technological" age, that Language is a technology, a tool.

When I compare deep academic questions to "is a hot dog a sandwich?"

I am not diminishing those questions.

I -love- that we have this conversation.
Right now, this conversation is distracting me from the fact that I cannot trust my local police department.

So. If you've come this far, as a breather, maybe look into the #AuroraPoliceDepartment tag, and consider, maybe, abolishing policing as we understand it.
I'm not actually QTing it in, out of respect for people who are ground down and need the break.

It just... feels disrespectful, to let myself get lost in this, and to let it do numbers, when there's something worth caring about going on.

Cheers, all.
Also, remember that this is always an acceptable answer to one of these questions: https://twitter.com/NomeDaBarbarian/status/1290835326475202560
You can follow @NomeDaBarbarian.
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