Any marketers want to talk about how to say no at work? I feel a tweet storm coming on if there's interest

Here's a quote from a senior mktg leader, when asked about their job: "It's always people wanting you to do more things than you have scope for, so I'm trying to push back and ask them to prioritize."

IOW If you're waiting for it to get better as you advance, I have bad news...

If you're a good marketer you're likely an empathetic person. You might even have issues with boundaries or being a "people pleaser." Even if not these things, you may also early in your career feel like you can't say no, or even possibly insecure about it, like it's risky.

Here's the thing:

If you don't learn how to push back, you will still be in career trouble eventually, PLUS you'll burn out physically and mentally.

I want you all sharing tips in the replies, but I'll keep going!

I coach a lot of CMOs. Eg your bosses. And guess what, they struggle with this too. So it's never too early to practice and think about this stuff, because the sooner you master it, the less trauma it will cause you.

Note that I didn't say "the happier you will be." the marketer's life is always about managing scope and priorities. You will always be asked to do more with less.

Tip #1: Expect this as a way of life. Somehow it feels less personal when I do this.

The higher up you go, the weirder your job gets. Senior leadership in large companies spends a lot of time in meetings discussing things. Context switching like mad. They too are being asked to do more with less.

Tip #2: Your *real* job is to help your manager.

Now your manager is in the shit too. So regardless of what they say to you, often, even they don't know what they want, really. They just want the pain to go away.

They are rarely vested in HOW you do things.

Tip #3: Question every order (to yourself, first.)

(I will pause for a moment. It's important for me to couch my thoughts in the context of a decent, average workplace. If you have a toxic leadership team and a burnout culture that doesn't care about you, this advice is not for you. )

Onwards.

When your mgr asks you for a thing, the rookie move is to assume you know the scope they want. Especially if you are still new to each other.

If you are insecure, you will overdeliver. Your manager doesn't want that, trust me. they want you as leveraged as possible!

(more)

I didn't really grok this until I ran an agency, where we sell time. If you over-deliver, you are unprofitable.

Often your mgr doesn't want as much as you think and doesn't know how long it will take.

Tip #4: Get the scope of work as explicit/detailed as you can, upfront

Is your manager someone who pushes back on your behalf on other execs who try to churn you? that's a good sign that you're talking to someone who wants you to help them manage your time.

Tip #5: Read the room. But do ask your manager the best ways to push back BEFORE a crisis.

Another thing I didn't really grok til I ran an agency was the power of expectations. Rookie move: assuming everything is urgent.

Tip #6: ask about timeline and urgency/importance.

Ok so let's say you've finally got the dreaded request, the one you really don't want to do. the one that will send you over the edge.

If you followed Tips #1-6 you are far less likely to be here, but let's discuss this since it causes a lot of pain.

At this point, you really do have a problem. So first, here's what not to do: Whine about how much work you have to do.

Just don't act out. take a walk. meditate, take a deep breath.

Tip #7: Slow down and try to untrigger yourself so you can THINK

It's ok to say things like "let me reflect on that, or let me review the outstanding work and come back to you with a plan" basically get out of the room so you can buy time to make sure you know what you want to say.

You can buy time by asking why it's so important, right now. How it fits into the business priorities and your personal objectives (you do have objectives you set at least quarterly, right? ).

the more you understand the request, the less scary it often becomes.

Then when you go away and come back with a plan, you propose what will not get done/what will be delayed.

If you have a reasonable manager, this should be a reasonable and calm conversation.

If not, big red flag career wise. I'm sorry, but it's true.

A couple of things are likely to happen. 1) Your manager will say "perfect thank you" and you're off to the races. in the end your career success at early stages is often less on how you spend your day than helping your manager succeed. so don't let your ego throw you off.

2) your manager is going to ask you to work extra hours to do the thing. Again, this assumes a reasonable person. If so, then it will be perceived as a big favor and something that earns you points.

Or

3) they're going to tell you NOT to do the thing, and to stay on your original goals/plans.

3a) they may accept your plan w/ some suggested changes and they may ask you to explain your process. Don't get defensive. after all, you already thought it through. You are the expert.

Ok, that's the theory. Now let's discuss a couple corner cases.

The most common one is OMGWTFBBQ you let things get out of hand and you are overcommitted. Very common scenario.

The answer: you have to have a reset of expectations

you have to again, slow down and think.

Then Come up with a plan of what you can do and when.

Approach your manager ASAP. Confess that you overcommitted. Ask for help managing expectations outside, offer to put in some extra time, and promise not to let it happen again.

Another corner case: the ad hoc request in a meeting, especially at senior leadership level.

There are only 3 answers to requests of stuff for you:

Yes
No
Yes, with conditions

At the senior leadership level, you must not overcommit. You must continue to push for clarity on goals and expectations and manage those expectations so that end of year you stick the landing you promise.

Doing that earns trust.

And Trust is what gets budgets.

So can you see at the junior level if you don't learn how to push back and not overcommit you'll be struggling with this issue in your whole career?

This is just as important as learning your tools and tactics.

It's a survival skill, to be honest.

Ok I reserve the right to come up with more, but that's all I can think of right now. hit me up with questions. and talk to each other in the comments. Help each other!