KAMOMEDAI LIGHT NOVEL CHAPTER 2: SACHIROU'S IDOL NIGHTMARE

WRITTEN BECAUSE THERE IS NO KAMOMEDAI HAIKYUU-BU/ LIGHT NOVEL SO REALLY, I CAN SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!! PT 2

T'was the first day of Nationals and everyone on the Kamomedai Volleyball team was exhausted after a full day of crushing peoples' dreams with serving and blocking. After a quick team dinner, everyone headed off to their rooms to relax early. Everyone except for Hoshiumi Korai.

"I found him," Hoshiumi said, his hands on his hip. "My rival. How can I just sit there and do nothing while he's out there. What if he's training right now. Are you listening to me Sachirou?"

Sachirou yawned, checking his Instagram feed. "Ah. Tomo the Akita just posted."

"Excuse me?" Hoshiumi said, pissed off, looming over Hirugami. "Can you look this guy up? Hinata Shoyo? What can you find on him. I don't have an Instagram it makes me too mad it's totally unrealistic how they expect people to look. Not to mention half of the art is stolen. Ugh!"

"I just use mine to look at dogs," Hirugami protested before giving into Hoshiumi's stare. "Fine."

He pulled up the Karasuno blocker's social media profile. It was full of pictures of eggs, along with a picture of him swinging from a tire swing captioned "FUN WITH MY SISTER!!"

"Can't relate," Hirugami thought to himself, remembering his childhood of Shouko dressing him up in various outfits and putting makeup on him. Being a younger brother was a struggle.

"Sachirou," Hoshiumi said, sticking his face close to the phone. "Enhance."

"What am I your dog?" Hirugami fought the urge to hiss as he zoomed in on the tree Hinata swung from.

Hoshiumi sniffed the air. "How tall do you think that tree is. C'mon. You know math. You're in Class 6."

"What the hell, Korai-kun?"

"I think I can swing... even higher."

"Fat chance Korai," Gao snickered, flashing his matching wristband with the two. "Remember we're basically under house arrest for last time."

"Y-yeah," Bessho said nervously, raising his fists. "U-uh I'm supposed to subdue you guys by force! I'm a y-yellow belt in karate!"

"Can't believe Coach is resorting to using kids as shields," Hoshiumi said, despite being a good many inches shorter than Bessho. He rolled up his sleeves menacingly.

"Oh shit... oh fuck," Bessho thought as he passed out due to fear. A small pocketknife slipped out of his pocket

Hoshiumi acquired 'Pocketknife.' "Boys," he said, cutting off their wristbands along with his own. "We're in New York fucking City baby. It's time to have the time of our lives."

"Bro this is Tokyo," Gao snapped.

"My shackles have fallen away," Hirugami thought deeply.

Walking out of the lobby undetected as Suwa was meditating, listening to self-help books on tape from dealing with the second years, Hoshiumi and his entourage went into the city. Immediately, Hoshiumi stole some rope by vandalizing a park.

"Where are we even going?" Gao asked.

"To my destiny," Hoshiumi said dramatically, pointing at a nearby far object. "If I swing from the highest point in Tokyo, my rival will have no chance but to come out and meet me. And battle like 'Valley of the End.' You two are just collateral."

Gao and Hirugami groaned.

"Dude what is up with you and the damn Tokyo Skytree?" Gao said, the hamster on his head quaking. "Korai what the hell is wrong with you!?"

"The Tokyo Skytree is the emblem of what I must overcome. Tall, sexy, and threatening."

"Sorry I can't be him," Hirugami muttered.

After tearing apart a car with his bare hands as his 190cm+ entourage watched helplessly, Hoshiumi had all the ingredients to build a slide.

"Why aren't you stopping him?" Gao screeched at Hirugami who was still looking at his phone.

"Tomo the Akita is livestreaming right now."

"Alright," Hoshiumi said triumphantly, lassoing the tire and rope dangerously above his head like a whirlwind. Gao marveled at his strength to do that.

"How the hell are you able to do that like it's nothing?" Gao asked, wondering if Hoshiumi was an alien.

"My stats, bro."

As Hirugami was engrossed in watching Tomo the Akita roll around in the grass, smiling to himself fondly, Gao spotted someone at the corner of his eye "Oh my god." Gao said pointing at the man in the distance. "Is that Sauce Hero from Come to Die? Man I love J-Pop boy bands!"

"Who the hell is that?" Hoshiumi whipped his head around to get a better look, "I only listen to girl g-"

Distracted, Hoshiumi had let go of the tire and rope lasso he was twirling around his head. It went flying in the air, slamming in the side of the guy Gao was talking about.

Hirugami looked up from his phone as Hoshiumi and Gao started screaming, running over to the unconscious man. "I look away from the idiots for a minute, and this happens?" Hirugami thought to himself following them.

Hoshiumi and Gao stood over the man, heads in hand, distraught.

"I'M SORRY!" Hoshiumi screamed, "IN MY HUBRIS I DIDN'T THINK OF ANYONE ELSE EXISTING IN THE WORLD APART FROM MY RIVAL. AND THIS POOR HANDSOME MAN HAD TO PAY THE PRICE."

"Oh my god Korai he's not breathing," Gao said, puckering up. "Man I always wanted an excuse to kiss an idol."

"Please settle down my fellow Kamomegays," Hirugami said, pushing Gao aside. "See, he's still breathing. No need to do CPR."

"Dammit," Gao cursed under his breath.

Hoshiumi was in tears. "Sachirou you know how animals work.. please fix him! Man is too hot to die like this!"

"Who is he anyways," Hirugami asked, slinging the body over his shoulder nonchalantly. "Let's take him back to the hotel to rest."

"Sauce Hero from Come to Die," Gao said, crying. "Only one of Japan's most handsome men. He's supposed to have a charity concert today. Well, was."

"I'm sure they can find another handsome man to replace him, if that's what you're worried about. Anyways we can't take him to the hospital. It's going to look really bad on my college apps if I get arrested," Hirugami said matter-of-factly when he heard the man's phone go off

"Uh... do we answer that," Hoshiumi said, while Hirugami analyzed the situation.

"It'd be suspicious if we didn't," Hirugami said answering the phone. "Moshi moshi, Sachirou desu."

"Hey man, don't say your real name!" Gao snapped.

"Sauce Hero-kun thank goodness you picked up!"

"Eh?" Hirugami put a hand over the speaker. "I think she heard my name wrong."

"I mean, your names sound kind of alike," Hoshiumi said thoughtfully. "Sauce Hero... Sachirou."

"Hello Onee-san," Hirugami continued. "You sound frantic, what is the matter?"

"How close are you to the Tokyo Skytree? The makeup artist came early and we need time to prep your hair!" she yelled, "You know how frizzy it gets in the cold..."

"Wait," Hirugami said, holding the phone. "Is this like, a free perm?"

"O-of course! It's your job after all!"

"Can you refresh me on what my job is?" Hirugami said, scratching his head, weighing the price of a free perm. "Like, what am I supposed to do?"

"Your job in the band is just to be another pretty face in the background and put your arms up to the music!" the agent cried.

"Wow, that is very in line with my perception with the English-speaking fandom," Hirugami said, brushing aside his deep backstory. "Yeah, I can do this. I'll see you in 30 minutes."

"Sachirou..." Hoshiumi whined. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this... you're not even hot!"

"Korai, you're blinded by the childhood friend bias," Hirugami said, giving a smirk as he signed a fangirl's arm as she mistook him as Sauce Hero holding a dummy of himself. "I'm pretty handsome, if I do say so myself."

"Dammit!" Hoshiumi cursed, "Don't awaken anything in me!"

"Alright first years," Hirugami said, dropping off the unconscious body with Bessho, Tokura, and Norikura. "Listen to senpai and provide him with top notch medical care from WebMD. He's not concussed but will need a lot of ice packs."

"Yes Hirugami-senpai..."

"I want to be just like Hirugami-san when I grow up," Bessho said with a childlike wonder in his eyes.

The other first years stared at each other in disbelief. "You want to be detached, logical, and gay?" Tokura asked.

"Yeah. The millennial dream," Bessho said in awe.

"You know Sachirou does kinda look like that guy," Gao said awkwardly, walking behind Hirugami with a look on his face. "Korai you know him better... do you think so?"

Hoshiumi who was having a crisis in the back from not being the main character was making gremlin noises.

"No he doesn't," Hoshiumi said stubbornly, flipping through pictures of Sauce Hero the J-Pop idol on his phone. "This guy isn't even hot with his stupid brown bedroom eyes, stupid wavy hair, strong muscles, sexy eyebrows, and toned arms. I'm just saying."

Approaching the Skytree, Gao grabbed onto both of Hoshiumi's arms to stop him from impulsively climbing it while Hirugami was greeted by his "fans", smiling and waving.

"Ahaha hi~" Hirugami said, trying to remember how being dumb was like. "Gao what do you normally say?"

"S-Hero-san!" one of the people in the press yelled. "What do you think of rumors that you're related to Schweiden Adlers captain Fukuro Hirugami?"

"S-Hero... is it true that you're gay?"

Hoshiumi, tired of not being the center of attention yelled out, "HEY! I'M GAY TOO!"

"You're here," a woman in a suit said, panting as she grabbed Hirugami's arm. "We need to do your hair and make up quick before you meet your fans again!"

Hirugami looked back at his friends. "Er, can they come too?"

"No, this is a VIP restricted area, sorry."

Being separated from Hirugami, a source of familiarity for him was a devastating thought to Hoshiumi. He looked up at Hirugami with his giant orb-like eyes, trying to suppress the tears. "Sachirou doesn't like crowds," Hoshiumi said quietly, "Or people. Or being on stage."

"I'll be fine Korai-kun," Hirugami said reassuringly, giving Hoshiumi a pat on his head. "Just cheer for me in the crowd. Like a real Y/N experience."

"You'll be okay right? There's a lot of people," Hoshiumi said worried.

"I hate the gays," Gao said, facepalming. "Stop it."

"Yeah. It's your turn to see me shine, Korai-kun," Hirugami said, pointing at the sunset. "See that over there? As long as we're still in a world where the sun sets. We will still be together."

"I'm going to throw up man," Gao said, shaking his head.

"I know," Hoshiumi said.

Watching Hirugami get ushered away by the people, departing into another world and diverging from their shared path, Hoshiumi smiled with tears in his eyes. "You know Gao," he said, proudly. "I raised that boy."

"Dude how the hell are you gonna handle graduation," Gao said.

Back at the vanity room, Hirugami felt like a dog at the groomers. He was having a good time as a man with a heavy European accent kept saying the world, "bellissimo" while massaging out his curls.

"His emotionless face and heavy eyelids... this man could be the face of Vogue!"

Maybe my strength is that... I just don't care about this at all, Hirugami thought to himself, spotting another idol across the way obsessing over a new mole that appeared. I'm not like Jungkook, Gackt, or Hatsune Miku. I'm not trying to be some ideal man or anything.

Meanwhile at the hotel, Nozawa walked into Hirugami's room to ask him if he saw the new Hachiko fancam when he came across the 1st years drawing a transmutation circle around the unconscious man. "Hirugami what the f-?"

"It's not him," Bessho said. "WebMD said this should work."

"Where's Korai and Gao?" Kanbayashi said, finally emerging from the toilet. He was always at the bathroom in the most inconvenient of times.

"Well, Hoshiumi-san disarmed me and went out with the others to go looking for his rival, I think," Bessho said awkwardly. "I tried."

"Alright," the stylist said, throwing confetti in the air. "Voila. Now take a look at yourself in the mirror."

Hirugami stared back at his shiny reflection, only to not realize the man looking at him. His eyeliner was impeccable, his hair parted to the left and tastefully wavy.

It's not me, Hirugami thought to himself. Just like the me that played volleyball a long time ago.

He tugged at the beige turtleneck he was wearing, the black jacket feeling uncomfortable on his shoulders. "Did I fool myself in the process of fooling these people?" he thought.

"Man," Gao said staring out into the crowd.

"Gao," said the crowd, must to his displeasure.

Hoshiumi was perched on his shoulders with a bucket hat and binoculars. "All the guys are coming out and I can't see Sachirou anywhere. Do you think he died?" Hoshiumi said worried.

"No?" Gao blurted out, wondering if his teammates were always needlessly dramatic. Hoshiumi had become eerily quiet since Hirugami left, as if he was thinking.

"You know Gao, I was thinking about it and I think I really take Sachirou for granted," Hoshiumi said quietly.

"Oh that's awkward," Gao said, unable to handle emotions. "I mean it was nice of him to diffuse the situation with you and the reporter today."

"I mean yeah," Hoshiumi said hastily. "But in general. I think we need to appreciate him more you know? As a character. As a person."

"And now the boys of Come to Die! Sauce Hero, Haccubus, and Broshiumi!" the announcer yelled out while Hoshiumi scratched his head.

"Is it me or are these idol names really familiar?" Hoshiumi remarked, adjusting his binoculars.

"No, you're just full of yourself, Korai."

The sea of people started to go wild at the sight of these handsome men. Gao started to lose his composure as well, pulling out his $50 light sticks and yelling, "YEAH!! WOO!! MEN!!" while Hoshiumi struggled to stay balanced. His eyes fell on the most beautiful man on stage.

"That can't be," Hoshiumi said, zooming in. "That's not... him at all. He's so beautiful."

"Moshi moshi Sachirou desu," Hirugami said flatly as the microphone was passed to him. "Seeing a lot of cute dogs in the crowd, very nice. Sumimasen to everyone else."

"Korai, it's him!"

"God I love S-Hero-kun he's so mean," one of the girls said giddily. "I ship him with Broshiumi-san. Did you see the clip where they picked each other up? Soulmate behavior."

"Broshiumi-san is so fickle. He tweets about another guy every week. S-Hero belongs to the people."

"HEY!" Hoshiumi yelled, feeling offended for no reason. "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH RESPECTING OTHER MEN TASTEFULLY!"

"Anyways, congratulations to S-Hero-kun for winning this year's Mr. Tokyo Pageant! Any words for the crowd?"

"Adopt don't shop," Hirugami said with a thumbs up.

Hoshiumi crossed his arms, muttering under his breath. "It sounds like you, talks like you, but it isn't you," he hissed, squeezing Gao's hair. "Sachirou.. I'll get you out of there. As the main character, I have to save you."

"THE MEN ARE JUST TOO HOT BRUH," wailed Gao in pain.

Driving the team bus to the Tokyo Skytree, the Kamomedai Captain Suwa ripped the cucumbers off his eyes and replaced his self-help books on tape with J-Metal. "I just got off the phone with Korai, Sachirou, and Gao's moms. They have given us the authority to take them by force."

Stirring in the backseat, the real Sauce Hero opened his eyes, only to see himself being stared at by high schoolers. "Hey wait are you guys extras from that show Haikyuu?" Sauce Hero said warily.

"No, we get an entire match to ourselves," Bessho said.

"Oh I skipped it, sorry."

His eyes glazed over, Hirugami lip synced to the words on the projector, listening to girls ooh and aah over his voice. He knew that if he was in a crowd, he could spot the decoy easily. "I don't know how I feel about this," he thought to himself, staring out into the distance.

"Do I just keep doing it then?" Hirugami thought, giving a fake wink to no one in the crowd in particular. "I can't even see anyone's faces."

Feeling lost in the sauce, Hirugami wondered how long this would last when he heard a yell from above.

"SACHIROU!!" Hoshiumi yelled.

At the top of the Skytree, Hoshiumi Korai had a rope in hand and a pocketknife in the mouth. The pocketknife served no purpose, he just saw that in movies and thought it would be cool.

"Korai-kun!" the spell broke over Hirugami as he spoke into his mic. "What are you doing?"

"Did you know Sachirou? The sunset is really beautiful when you're at the top!" Hoshiumi yelled into a megaphone he kept with him at all times. to be annoying "I wish you could see it too!"

"Korai man," Gao said angrily. "You interrupted them at the good part! Stop gay please!"

"Korai-kun!" Hirugami said, staring up at Hoshiumi, "Get down from there it's not safe!"

"I realized something Sachirou! I don't want to beat my rival. I want to show them how this view looks too. Thank you for showing me how beautiful sunsets are!"

"Gay..." Gao groaned.

"Korai-kun, I'm so happy for you," Hirugami said, a genuine smile on his face. "I wish I had that mindset myself back when I loved playing. You've grown so much."

"Let's get out of here together!" Hoshiumi said, swinging from the rope. "I saw this in a movie!"

"Ugh," said Gao.

Sweeping Hirugami into his arms, Hoshiumi resumed the role of main character again, listening to everyone gasp in surprise and awe. "How the hell can he do that?" the crowd gasped.

"I have some pretty amazing stats," Hoshiumi said proudly, his ego inflated. "Probably the best."

Landing on his feet away from the stage, Hoshiumi looked down at Hirugami. "Haha! I've won the biggest prize of them all," he said proudly. "I stole your applause and swept you off your feet!"

"That you did," Hirugami said, blushing.

"Hey gays," a menacing voice said.

Stepping out of the bus was the Kamomedai Captain Suwa. A banner appeared out of nowhere behind him that said "Habit is second nature," showing that whatever Hoshiumi would try to do next, he wasn't going to win.

Gao, who was being wheeled into the bus let out a muffled cry.

The real Sauce Hero walked out of the bus, looking at Hirugami. "Whoa," he said. "Is this a dream?"

"It's a nightmare," groaned Hirugami, pointing at the stage. "They're waiting for you."

"Thanks for taking care of me Kamomedai! I promise I'll read your match!" the idol said.

"Shouko-nee-san will never let me live this down," Hirugami sighed, receiving a barrage of out of context screenshots from his sister who was watching the broadcast. "How did she know it was me. Was I that obvious."

"Yeah. You suck at being in disguise," Hoshiumi said.

"Anyways Korai-kun," Hirugami said, running a hand through his much nicer hair. "Sorry for putting you through that. I won't steal your spotlight again."

"It's fine," Hoshiumi said staring at him. "Uh..."

"Hm?"

"Nothing," Hoshiumi replied, blushing as Gao let out a scream.

And so the Kamomedai second years were banned from going outside unless it was direct transportation to matches. Hoshiumi realized that rivalries were best left healthy, Hirugami had another self-awakening, and Gao wanted revenge. Maybe next time.

/End

Part 1: https://twitter.com/Hoshiumeme/status/1284062085660327936