Peter Pan (1953) is on in my home and GOOD lord I forgot how much I hate literally every single thing about this movie, from the racism to Tinkerbell's huge"I just don't get along with other girls" energy.

John, your frankly irritating need to impress people with your vocabulary makes it seem rather likely you will come out at some point in life but your energy in this nursery is all wrong, take the top hat off: 3/10

Wendy, girl. I need you to work on doing affirmations in the mirror. Repeat after me "I do not need to clean up after boys to have self worth." Sorry. 4/10.

Think you are gonna get off easy, Michael? Think again. You left Nana tied up outside while you FLOATED off to play, no one matters once MICHAEL is having a good a time, huh?? 1/10

History's greatest monster. Get a job and tell Tinkerbell you are never going to commit to her the way she wants. 0/10.

Look, a lot is going on with you, I get that. That shitty kid cut your hand off, but you are the adult in the room. Let your crew unionize, start being a REAL pirate again, and thank Smee for once. 5/10

*Fiona Apple voice* ladies, ladies ladies. You are mermaids, dream bigger! You should be leading men to their deaths, not fighting for PETER PAN'S attention. 4/10, such wasted potential.

Honestly? I get it. You had some food you liked, you want more. 10/10.

white feminism. you inspired the worst musical theater girls. you should be ashamed. 1/10

*rubs temples* N/A

IN CONCLUSION! Nana is caring, loyal, a snappy dresser and never complains despite being completely disrespected by her charges and their parents, she is the only character worth a damn. 13/10.