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So get this nightmare scenario I& #39;ve set up: Tomorrow I have several hours of very important ZOOM meetings. I also have to begin my cleanout for a colonoscopy booked for Thursday. I have calls until 5 PM, but I have to start taking laxatives at 2. Yes, I will be live tweeting.
You sick puppies. As if I would live tweet this. Story time isn& #39;t until Friday.
I have just had my last solid food. My first call starts in 15 minutes. Pray for Mojo.
I hate to disappoint everyone, but I& #39;m finished my calls and so far... nothing has happened. That went... totally fine. Trust me. I& #39;m as confused as anybody. That& #39;s not how my life normally works.
I& #39;ve swallowed four Dulcolax, a packet of Pico-Salax, and about a gallon of ginger ale and... nothing. Now I know the joke. I& #39;m the only person on Earth constipated by laxatives. I feel like a water balloon.
Oh my God. I need to sell my house and buy a new house.
I came out of the toilet and asked my VERY REAL GIRLFRIEND if she heard anything and she said, "I could hear you laughing."
Friends, life is a rich pageant. Enjoy every moment.
Friends, life is a rich pageant. Enjoy every moment.
Can& #39;t. Stop. Pooping.
