As a mom, I let Mikay talk back to me as long as:
1. She doesn't hit me with anything, no throwing of toys or what not
2. She doesn't say anything foul (bad words, or anything that personally attacks me and not the issue)
3. She explain her side and point well

My point is, I let her tell me why she's upset or angry rather than tell her to not shout at me or answer me bc I'm her mom. For me, my daughter is human so she's capable of being angry and invalidating her right to be angry will just damage our relationship

I let her shout, I let her cry if she wants to, she even glares (wc honestly make me feel uncomfortable) but she's angry. So she has to release her anger. Its better for me to know why she's angry so I'll be able to change my ways

Likewise, I don't hide my emotions to her, although of course, unlike her, I control mine. But I tell her I'm angry and explain to her why. She'll sometimes ask me why I'm shouting and I'll tell her straight up, because I'm angry and then explain to her why. And if I'm too angry

I'll leave her for a while and be alone to control my emotions before explaining to her. She does this too. She'll get so angry, walk out, stay in the room and then think. She'll come out and say "I'm sorry I got angry..." and then explain why she was angry

Unlike the traditional "wag mo kong tatalikuran, kinakausap pa kita", i let her leave. I let her cool down and think. And if she apologize, I ask her the question "why". Why are you apologizing? Why did you do that? I want her to know what she did wrong and not just

Apologize to not make me angry anymore. Likewise, I apologize if I shouted at her or gone way overboard, and then again, explain why I got mad.

You see, being a parent is hard, especially in this generation where we want to correct the past generation's way of handling their children. I grew up holding my emotions to myself, and it is painful. I still carry the wounds until today. I dont want Mikay to experience the same

So I'm trying my bestest to educate her, be open-minded and understanding, and not invalidate her feelings too. I'm not perfect and I'm kinda doing this discipline thing alone. Its hard to discipline a child when you had a rough childhood. So to my future parents out there:

Good luck! And don't do to your children the things that traumatized you. Save them from the pain you went through.

I never thought this will get a lot of attention, but it pains me to see how many of us have gone thru such experience in the past. I send my virtual hugs to all of you! & thank you so much for ur appreciation i will do my best to be the mother my daugher deserves to have.