Thread by @suboticjelena, Friends, you may or may not know that today is Barack Obama's [...]

Jelena Subotic

suboticjelena

Friends, you may or may not know that today is Barack Obama& #39;s birthday. That& #39;s fine, but much more importantly it& #39;s also my husband& #39;s 50th birthday. We were going to go to the Grand Canyon but had to cancel so now we& #39;re having a pandemic birthday. Let me take you on this journey.

I have decided that the only thing to make this pandemic birthday even more 2020 - is if I took to baking. What you may know about me is - I don& #39;t know how to cook. Like at all. It& #39;s a combination of laziness, lack of patience, fear of failure, and rage issues.

So - what better way to show my affection than to conquer this fear and bake some shit today? My constraints, however, are severe: whatever I make has to be gluten free, sugar free and vegan. I know, right? That& #39;s a tough entry into baking.

What I& #39;m saying is, I& #39;m going to live tweet my first attempt at baking. This is my gift to you - because whatever you do today, it will be with more competence and skill than what I& #39;m about to start. Wish me luck. Let& #39;s go.

OK so I did *research*. I don& #39;t know how you people do it. There are a lot of steps involved.

I first need to decide what to make. I think I will make a Polenta Tart with Peppers and Artichokes AND an Almond Plum Cake.
I did order the ingredients and they have arrived. That& #39;s it so far.
I don& #39;t know how to make these things.

Do I need to follow directions and "measure"? Like what& #39;s "a cup???"

How is this “a cup”? This is not a cup.