My dental pain is off the charts excruciating again.

But I'm not supposed to talk about that because it's my fault because I'm poor (work harder!) or fat (because fat people only eat sugar, right?) or disabled (lol so lazy amirite???1)

#spoonie

I remember as I child with then undiagnosed OCD I was afraid to brush my teeth because I had a phobia of choking. (I still do). I thought I'd choke on my toothbrush. I had rituals around toothbrushing. I'd avoid doing it unless my dad yelled at me to. I ate toothpaste instead.

When I was hospitalized for severe OCD in 2018, an occupational therapist retaught me how to brush my teeth.

I used to be ashamed of this but I know I'm not the only 20-something who was scared of a toothbrush and used to only floss and mouth wash because of that.

TW EMETOPHOBIA

Around the same time I was hospitalized for OCD, my gastroparesis flared.

I was having severe GERD every day and vomiting frequently, sometimes multiple times per day.

I already had sensitive teeth and weak enamel, and had previously chipped a tooth, but now...

I started losing bits of teeth. My molars were just crumbling in my mouth.

And the pain was unbearable.

I have widespread chronic pain but dental pain is unlike anything else.

Have I mentioned I have a severe dental phobia?

And I'm on disability?

And with my neuroimmune disease (ME/CFS), mental illnesses, and long medical history, most dentists won't touch me.

So I have to go to the hospital and be sedated for any procedure.

I finally got an appointment to fix the most pressing issues, remove a couple painful halfway crumbled molars and fix a bunch of cavities with a very experienced and empathetic dentist.

I was thrilled!

It was at the end of May 2020.

Right before Toronto shut down because of Covid.

In these few months, I've been diligently taking care of my teeth whenever my severe fatigue allows.

But my teeth have gotten much worse. So much worse that it scares me.

I often can't eat or sleep because of the pain.

I think my teeth are worse than my grandmother's. But then, she doesn't have the illnesses I do.

Anyway, if you've read any or all of this thread (floss? ha!) about teeth:

1: Thank you for being here! I love you.

2: Do you have any tips for taking care of your teeth/ feel fresh from bed? My tip is keep your floss and sugar free mints in your bedside table