I love that so many people are realizing that sex is multifaceted. It can be any combination of gentle, rough, sweet, hot, dirty, pure, etc., all while being loving. Just because a couple fucks hard doesn't mean that their intimacy isn't representative of a vast, deep connection.

It doesn't have to be deeply emotional to be good, of course. Sex is like food. Sometimes you eat out and have things you'd never make at home, and sometimes a loved one makes you a handmade banquet. Sometimes you eat comfort food, and sometimes you go for steak.

Most of y'all coming to these conclusions aren't ready for my "BDSM is beautiful" TED talk, but that's ok. Everyone moves at their own pace and stops where they're comfortable. I'm glad that a bunch of people's neurons are firing in new and exciting patterns.

Just remember: everyone's got a different lens through which they view the world, and many people have a lot of trauma and hangups about sex. There's no one best way to talk about or have sex, it's an conversation. Clear communication and giving the benefit of the doubt are key.