I love that so many people are realizing that sex is multifaceted. It can be any combination of gentle, rough, sweet, hot, dirty, pure, etc., all while being loving. Just because a couple fucks hard doesn& #39;t mean that their intimacy isn& #39;t representative of a vast, deep connection.

It doesn& #39;t have to be deeply emotional to be good, of course. Sex is like food. Sometimes you eat out and have things you& #39;d never make at home, and sometimes a loved one makes you a handmade banquet. Sometimes you eat comfort food, and sometimes you go for steak.

Most of y& #39;all coming to these conclusions aren& #39;t ready for my "BDSM is beautiful" TED talk, but that& #39;s ok. Everyone moves at their own pace and stops where they& #39;re comfortable. I& #39;m glad that a bunch of people& #39;s neurons are firing in new and exciting patterns.

Just remember: everyone& #39;s got a different lens through which they view the world, and many people have a lot of trauma and hangups about sex. There& #39;s no one best way to talk about or have sex, it& #39;s an conversation. Clear communication and giving the benefit of the doubt are key.