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C-PTSD is fun because it’s caused by an extended period of prolonged trauma so there is basically an unlimited supply of traumatic moments your brain can reveal to you when it’s bored
As in, I can’t even buy maple syrup without flashbacks to my abuser screaming at me because I preferred actual maple syrup to other kinds
Pretty much when you’ve been a victim of abuse, anything and everything in the world can be a trigger because you encountered or saw it while living in fear of that person and everything is through that lens sometimes
Almost everything you can mention, I can think of an association it had or has to my abuser. Obviously on a normal day, I don’t look at a tree and think of a horrible thing that happened to me against a tree, but it’s bound to pop up at some point. Almost nothing is safe
Anyway I’ve been having flashbacks every night for months and I don’t really know why and I’m sick of the fact that for the rest of my life I’ll never be completely free of the ways that person hurt me it just feels gross and I really hate it
I thought I had discovered all of my repressed memories years ago in therapy and self reflection but I’m pretty sure that I RE repressed some of them and remembering them as if they’re new for a second time is so awful and I feel like my brain is in charge of me
Anyway I’m sorry this thread is brought to you by I can’t sleep and I need to go back to therapy but medi-cal fucking sucks
