Good morning Twitter, it’s time to put on your khakis and your ray bans and get in your shiny Volvo because our favourite emo glow stick is BACK #MidnightSun

This is the official read-along thread. Please mute accordingly. It will most certainly be silly.

“It was unbelievably frustrating!” is peak Edward

He spent ten pages planning Bella’s very detailed murder and that was fun but please note that vampires’ version of a snowball fight is literally being buried in snow

Look at this awkward virgin turning down a girl’s advances and tell me this isn’t Ben Solo at Jedi camp

If you say you didn’t miss Stephenie Meyer’s purple prose, you’re lying.

Trying to imagine what Edward, a guy who listen to Debussy on the regular, would consider ‘violent music.’

Paramore?

Was it “Crikey!”?

Update: this is as far a gentleman who was raised in the 1900s is willing to go.

Sidebar, Rosalie and Emmett are definitely into pegging. Just a vibe.

I’m cackling at the way Edward thought Charlie was a bit of a dumb dumb

Never mind the fact that he spent the last 69 pages planning her violent murder, Edward Cullen is a SOFT BOI

“Should have kept my mouth shut” — Mike ‘SUP ARIZONA?’ Newton in a nutshell

Edward, you savage

Also, please note this zinger of a joke, courtesy of Dr. Carlisle

Edward being a teenage drama queen, part 1 of many

Hey, at least he did some maintenance around the house while he creeped

We took this whole ‘climbing through her window and watching her sleep’ thing pretty well in 2008. Was it the recession?

If you’ve ever wondered what he does while she sleeps, here it is. He kills spiders. Suddenly, I don’t mind the creeping all that much.

Same.

There are cinnamon rolls to pure and precious for this world and then there are people like Edward — mincemeat trifles who are hopelessly outdated and a little too much for most people’s palates, but you can’t help but find their vintage wholesomeness charming

Edward is type to blush when he sees an ankle and call underwear “intimate unmentionables”

I hardly remember my own birthday but I know I’ll be 80 years old playing dominos at the retirement home and still remember that Bella had mushroom ravioli on her date with Edward. Name a more iconic pop culture dish than that.

When I tell you I nearly choked—

2020 trying to cancel humanity has nothing on Edward trying to cancel his horniness

He’s pretty judgmental for a guy who watches people sleep

Edward talking about his ‘monster’ in the third person is giving me the worst flashbacks to 50 Shades and Anastasia’s ‘inner goddess,’ which is really, really ironic

Listen, not all of us walk around in designer clothes all the time, Edward, stop being pretentious

Rosalie’s hate for Edward is almost cartoonish. I imagine it stems from one too many family breakfasts where Edward felt the need to point out that their sex noises hindered his enjoyment of the latest John Grimsham audiobook while pouring himself an organic venison smoothie

Edward, the 100 year old virgin, was absolutely not ready to hear Bella’s horny thoughts and that’s exactly why nature decided to shield them from him