I haven't posted on here in like 4-5 months and this place is still a hellhole that makes me want to mentally lose control, yet I still feel the need to post here.

That's not taking into account that I've reunited and abandoned some friends, either on purpose or because I just keep forgetting to contact them, which leaves me with a guilty conscience that eats me up inside.

And all the while, I've been diving down a mental downwards spiral upon revelations regarding stuff that I found out to be the source of my long life (at this point) depression (which was all my fault). It's just too much on top of this global situation we're in.

I don't know why I'm even bothering to type this thread out. I hate this website, yet I'm back to using it anyway. I'm sorry to those who tried to contact me over the past 4-5 months. I should've at least said something before disappearing.