I haven& #39;t posted on here in like 4-5 months and this place is still a hellhole that makes me want to mentally lose control, yet I still feel the need to post here.

That& #39;s not taking into account that I& #39;ve reunited and abandoned some friends, either on purpose or because I just keep forgetting to contact them, which leaves me with a guilty conscience that eats me up inside.

And all the while, I& #39;ve been diving down a mental downwards spiral upon revelations regarding stuff that I found out to be the source of my long life (at this point) depression (which was all my fault). It& #39;s just too much on top of this global situation we& #39;re in.

I don& #39;t know why I& #39;m even bothering to type this thread out. I hate this website, yet I& #39;m back to using it anyway. I& #39;m sorry to those who tried to contact me over the past 4-5 months. I should& #39;ve at least said something before disappearing.