Ugh... fine. I'll watch the stupid livestream of SN5, it's supposed to be hopping today. But I won't necessarily enjoy it.

I cannot stress how much of a change in attitude this is since a year ago... it all seems so surreal how much I've changed here.
I have always been a huge fan of all things space, including not just astronomy, but also the incredible advanced technology allowing us to reach there. I can tell you how a rocket engine works to moderate detail, that kind of thing.
I have always found inspiration in our incredible efforts to expand our knowledge and explore the universe, this vision of humanity going out into the stars as one, advancing our technology to explore as much of the universe as we can, and even inhabit it.
As such, the projects and organizations I loved and admired the most were always whoever was pushing things forward the most. And that led me to... SpaceX, and Elon Musk.

You can probably see where this is going, and where my ambivalence emerges
I... always avoided considering myself one, as I *did* always show interest in all other rockets out there, especially ones under development, but... relative to where I stand now, I was... a bit of a fanboy.
I viewed Musk- who I've come to hate so much I don't want to write his name out much here- as a kind of unrealistically superhuman genius idol of pushing through with a dream and being willing to innovate as much as necessary to do so, taking huge risks that always seem to work
No.

My opinions have changed drastically since then, don't worry- while he does take "risks", he has far too much money to throw at things for these to really be an issue anymore, especially while constructing things cheaply.

He's a billionaire. Money has lost meaning to him.
And, sadly, that includes the resources that money pays for- mostly labor. Which of course by extension means nothing to him. If he actually cared about working conditions things would be a lot different at SpaceX (and even more so at Tesla)- unions would be allowed, for example.
But even more worrying are his motives. They don't boil down to helping humanity, as I once genuinely was stupid enough to think- as with all billionaires, they boil down to gaining more power and wealth farmed from lower classes.
In the last couple years especially, due to a combination of factors, I have drifted left ideologically, coming to think that Capitalism as a whole is deeply flawed, causes many problems in our society, and should be replaced with something better as soon as possible.
It took me this long to realize because... well, I am a middle-class white guy who has never even had to worry about finances before about now, and STILL has never held a job (I'm 18). I have to recognize my privilege in this position.
For our exploration of space to be truly inspiring, they must represent the best of humanity. It must be driven by our desire for knowledge, our creativity and inventiveness, and our collaboration- it's for *all* of us to explore together, not just those in power.
And its DEFINITELY not for some greedy, corrupt asshole to exploit by using it for power- what SpaceX boils down to is trying to put space exploration into the hands of large corporations, opening it up for exploitation.
And, of course, especially with Mars, where they're trying to basically just... own the planet and have Musk reign over all. He's even talked about basically setting up a form of indentured servitude there, it's horrifying. And I cannot support that.
Starship, the incredibly advanced basically first proper spaceship being designed to get there, is... well, first off, not as guaranteed as I've felt since it is a bit... um, ambitious with... "resourceful" construction, is no longer the best thing ever.
Essentially, it's a powerful tool for space exploration, but it's basically in the complete wrong hands. I simultaneously still have a part of me that wants it to be successful and then, maybe have SpaceX fall apart or something, and want it to crash and burn before it's too late
I've reacted strangely about this, and it's kind of ruined this part of space as a whole for me. I've kind of tried... agressively ignoring SpaceX in particular, but my nerdy side always wants to stay updated with what's going on with space exploration, even if it's bad.
And yes, a LOT of this closely mirrors @\\Kavaeric's long thread on this same thing, and trust me I felt pretty similar during the DM-2 launch

I'm gonna stop talking now, because... idk. There's a lot more to say, I just... I'm not as motivated to talk about it I guess
Regardless, I've been focusing more on the astronomy side of things with space recently. Also holy shit this thread turned out way longer than it was supposed to
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