i want to rant about how much i love being queer

although my sexual identity has caused the most self hatred and discomfort i’ve ever experienced, i learned more about myself in those years of self discovery than i had in my entire life before so

as a white cis (?) person growing up i was handed this privilege and fit in with societal expectation. it was difficult to see myself giving up being “normal”. all i knew was i fit the script in theory and all i had to do was partake in performative expression

this thought alone is extremely toxic and i had to recognize that i wasn’t living for myself i was living to fit in. once i had to break the social norm of sexuality it lead me to question all social norms and forms of discrimination (race, gender, disability)

i’m embarrassed that it took my own intersectionality to recognize others in a more in depth perspective, but i’m thankful it did. it woke me up

now i study sociology and try to question the relationship between what i really want and what i feel i am supposed to want. which is difficult because it is so instilled in me internally

with being in wlw relationships i am able to redefine what it means to be in a relationship and the expectations that are put on us as women. we are able to connect on a deeper level w mutual understanding of the queer/ female experience

i have been able to own my sexuality. not only in a relation way but with my sex drive, body, and self perception. i know my body isn’t for male consumption and me being sexy isn’t always sexual

when i was figuring out my sexuality i had trouble bc i wasn’t attracted to what the male gaze found sexy (big tiddie skinny white empty minded women) but i soon came to realize that female sexuality isn’t defined by that gaze. female sexuality can’t be defined

being gay has opened changed my definition of myself, women, sex, gender, discrimination and life in general. i am so so thankful to be queer :)