i think saying "wwx wishes jiang cheng and lan wangji had stood with him when he was protecting the wens" is underestimating how well wwx understands sect dynamics and how much he respects people who can't necessarily take a stand in the same manner as him due to social position

the social and cultural dynamics of this universe aren't built to make wwx's choice easy. we are fooled by seeing mianmian well after leaving her sect but truth is leaving means a lot more than just a fck you to status quo and wwx understands that.

we also have to understand wwx's position isn't GOOD. he chooses to sacrifice himself but imo we would lose so much of his character if he wanted that same pain on his brother or on the love of his life.

he wishes things were different, but he doesn't want them to follow him.

wwx is mad at the system for sure but he doesn't blame people like jiang cheng and lan wangji, who are tied to it by things other than "uwu this is comfortable!!!", and since things are the way they are, wishing they had followed is also wishing burial mounds on them.

wwx is hungry, miserable, stripped of his core, in pain. he is set apart from his family and friends. he is literally trying to make potatos work on a mountain of corpses.

why would anyone wish that for people they love? wwx even less than most people, i believe.

i don't think he even wanted the wens in burial mounds with him, to be honest. he wants everyone safe, happy and flourishing.

wishing they were close and he could find what he believes to be fair is different from wishing they followed him.

i think this is so important to understand wei wuxian. other characters you could argue would go "damn, this weird and ugly part of me wishes they would be feeling the pain i am feeling" which is... fair, they're human. but wwx is built to be exactly the opposite.

if you say there is a part of him who does wish that pain on his brother and his lover, you're taking away from wwx's most admirable ability, which is to go through hell and back if that means people he loves are happier that way.