Even if it is nerves about Fulham, it’s been nice having emotions come back over the last months / year. Reported on the Supercup a year ago today. (Look, here’s me pouting at Jadon Sancho!) Everything looks OK but the next day I couldn’t get out of bed because I was so depressed

Since I put this out earlier this year, have had an overwhelming amount of support, both in public and privately. My tweets though have returned to normal.

I think it’s important to say that the route back even since then has not been a steady march forward. https://twitter.com/archiert1/status/1219278014615343109

From the outside, it can look like you have everything that you’d ever want. And everything you thought you did want. All the online support in the world - but if your brain + body still aren’t connecting with each other / one is still berating the other: still got a big problem.

This is the best representation of the journey in between IMO. From my experience and talking to others, it’s easy to get frustrated very quickly at just how bumpy the ride can be. And also, for those around that person.

I say that partly in case somebody with depression might read this and thinks: “Puh, it gets better for him but not for me.” I think a lot of us, whether they’d like to admit it or not, are prone to that kind of thought. I’ve had that. That’s also the nature of social media.

Social media shows you what others have and in turn what you don’t have yourself. My experience of depression has come with a lot feeling of why don’t my feelings match my expectations of how I should be feeling. Spending a lot of time on Twitter can exacerbate that.

The overall reality is of course different. So in my case, I am doing better but it really takes a lot of effort to take the time to groove in new healthier mental habits, where you don’t mentally harm yourself / go to dark places. That takes a lot of time and effort.

Part of that comes through not overthinking things. That becomes easier but I, er, have some way go with that... https://twitter.com/archiert1/status/1290391418628902913

I know waiting lists can be long, making it even more offputting but if you’re able to get your name down for therapy, it’s worth trying. It doesn’t wave a magic wand + just make things better. Some weeks are shit. For me, it’s helped to reassess things in a much better light.

Reminder: support the likes of @MindCharity, @thecalmzone and @heads_together if you’re able to.

Think this by @MarvinSordell sums up what the feeling of depression can be like.

So, be kind to yourself.

(And, er, come on Fulham. Please.)