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There& #39;s this weird subgenre of people on the internet who don& #39;t want me to be human, as stated by their desire for me to only ever be happy, and it bothers me more than most types of comments/messages.
Personally, I think it& #39;s important to be honest with your feelings.
Personally, I think it& #39;s important to be honest with your feelings.
As for how much you want to share publicly, to each their own. For me, if I& #39;m going to share my joy, I also think it fair to share my sadness. There& #39;s a very real problem with internet personalities who only ever show the good and never the bad.
It& #39;s tempting, though in the long run I don& #39;t think it& #39;s easier, to cultivate an image of pure positivity.
"Life is good, nothing ever goes wrong, and if it does: that& #39;s ok! I& #39;m still feelin& #39; GREAT!"
But this signals to people who are struggling that they are somehow lesser.
"Life is good, nothing ever goes wrong, and if it does: that& #39;s ok! I& #39;m still feelin& #39; GREAT!"
But this signals to people who are struggling that they are somehow lesser.
"If these people I follow never struggle, yet I struggle... then what& #39;s wrong with me?"
"If that person only hits high after high, and I can& #39;t get an inch above rock bottom, will I ever?"
"If that person only hits high after high, and I can& #39;t get an inch above rock bottom, will I ever?"
The irony is that I drew opposing ire from two different people in separate messages today.
One was upset that I was only showing the highest highs living my best life in Europe while the US burns to the ground. As if I& #39;m unaware, or intentionally pouring gas on the fire.
One was upset that I was only showing the highest highs living my best life in Europe while the US burns to the ground. As if I& #39;m unaware, or intentionally pouring gas on the fire.
The other bemoaned the fact that I& #39;m sharing my struggles, literally asking "Where& #39;s the smile?" and pushing for more happy-go-lucky-in-Paris content.
Damned if I do... damned if I sing and skip through the Pantheon.
Damned if I do... damned if I sing and skip through the Pantheon.
I guess I& #39;m sharing this because for one, I am very intensely aware of what& #39;s going on Stateside. Partially because you can& #39;t escape it no matter where in the world you land, and partially because I practically bathe in news and podcasts to stay as up to date as possible.
I& #39;ve had to take a break from that, because it started to overwhelm me - I felt helpless and infuriated ALL THE TIME and there seemed like little to nothing I could do about it.
Also, for those who& #39;d rather I feel happy, here& #39;s a bunny to balance things out.
Also, for those who& #39;d rather I feel happy, here& #39;s a bunny to balance things out.
I& #39;m just a dude. I& #39;m heartbroken for the injustice being piled upon injustice in my homeland. For the generations of pain and poverty, genocide and slavery. I& #39;m deeply saddened by my friends who are alone and struggling with autoimmune disorders, or who have lost their job.
I have friends all over the world who are facing lost businesses, jobs, relationships, and health. A lot of suffering which was completely preventable.
I& #39;m concerned for my family. For my country. For humanity as a whole.
I& #39;m concerned for my family. For my country. For humanity as a whole.
So I try to strike a balance in what I create. I don& #39;t have a political channel on YouTube, but that doesn& #39;t mean I won& #39;t encourage you to wear a mask. People come to me to escape the hellfires of 2020, but that doesn& #39;t mean I won& #39;t occasionally share how it& #39;s affecting me too.
If you want current events, there are literally thousands of sources where you can find that. If you want political fury, I have it, but that& #39;s not what I provide in what I make. And if you want me to be happy all the live long day, I& #39;m not taking whatever drug you& #39;re pushing.
I always strive to live my values as openly as I can, and to share my worldview intrinsically though how I make my videos. My hope is to maintain an open door to conversation with people who might otherwise walk away if I were to approach things too directly (sci-fi author here)
Because for one, actual conversation, let alone debate, is nearly impossible on the internet at this point.
For two, I had a lot of people who very patiently walked with me through my own journey until I came to realizations I wouldn& #39;t have otherwise had on my own.
For two, I had a lot of people who very patiently walked with me through my own journey until I came to realizations I wouldn& #39;t have otherwise had on my own.
I realize I can& #39;t please everyone. Some people want me to talk only and always about what& #39;s going on right now, while others wish I would just turn into a webcam that showed Paris scenes and only Paris scenes 24/7 ("too much of your face" is a common refrain from this camp).
But I didn& #39;t set out to do either of those things when I started vlogging.
I set out to share my life as honestly as possible, to catch the highs as well as the lows, and to do whatever I could to bring a sense of hope to not just myself in the process, but also to anyone who gave me a moment of their time to watch.
And I& #39;m lucky to have found a lot of people who are totally in for that. I& #39;m very very lucky to have friends and family, viewers and Patrons who are all down with what I& #39;ve been doing for the last few years and want it to continue. That in itself is delightfully bananas.
So I won& #39;t be constantly screaming in fury, or smiling all the time.
I certainly feel like screaming in fury (and do so in private often enough). And I& #39;m fortunate to have lots of things to be grateful for that do make me smile.
I certainly feel like screaming in fury (and do so in private often enough). And I& #39;m fortunate to have lots of things to be grateful for that do make me smile.
I hope you aren& #39;t in a place where you feel like you& #39;re swinging too far one way or the other either. Let& #39;s feel what we have to feel, identify those feelings, own them, and deal with them head on as we have the energy. There& #39;s no other way through this.
At least I don& #39;t think there& #39;s a healthier way through it.
Also, in case that got too heavy again, bunnies round two:
Also, in case that got too heavy again, bunnies round two:
Also one last thing - if you& #39;re struggling to identify and name how you& #39;re feeling, my dad shared a really helpful tool "Mood Meter" with me that can help you drill down and clarify exactly how you& #39;re feeling so you can better approach all this: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.reliablecoders.moodmeter">https://play.google.com/store/app...
