This is such an important observation because within a religious context a lot of the rhetoric around dating/relationships is solely around not falling into temptation regarding sex.

No one talks about conflict resolution, being present, building healthy friendship. https://twitter.com/bj116/status/1290358452217417728

I was in 3 year long relationship and I spent pretty much all of it obssessing over purity that I enjoyed very little of it. As someone who grew up with divorced parents, I often sought relationship advice in church settings and literally everything was about remaining pure.

The first time I ever encountered content regarding building a healthy relationship was when I encountered my mentor. She was the first Christian who ever spoke to me about improve my communication skills, vulnerability, conflict resolution etc

She spoke to me about love languages and personality differences, she got me to take the tests and equipped me with content about all of this stuff. She even set up a group chat with myself, her and husband and said I could any questions I had about relationships.

My mentor and her husband were the first people to take it upon themselves to challenge my perspective about relationships both romantic and platonic.

This sort of support is not something that I see as popular in church settings.

It feels like the church is building pure, emotionally stunted individuals because they will not stop focusing on sex and purity at their youth and relationship conferences.

There really is more to healthycrelationships that resisting lust.

People are getting married simply to avoid lust and getting divorced just as quickly because they don't know how to deal with each other's insecurities, emotions and flaws.

The work begins with individuals not at pre-marriage counselling.