Thread where I, at 33 years old, live tweet my first cup of coffee

It smelled nice... before it was wet.

Now it smells horrid. I don’t ever want to wake up and smell this

This is what I imagine dirt tastes like.

OK so nobody drinks this for the flavour, clearly. I’m calling it hell water because it’s hot and tastes like suffering.

Gonna try to bless it with sugar.

Now it tastes like sweet dirt. Which is an improvement but I’m gonna add milk too

Huge improvement, now it tastes like a heavily poisoned tea.

For those asking: it’s instant coffee.

I’m not getting fancy or splurging on something I might not like.

Which I don’t. I do not like coffee. I do not like it.

Ugh, this aftertaste. I feel like I swallowed a burned pine cone.

Fair enough, I’ll not rule out all coffee. But instant coffee is 100% liquid displeasure.

https://twitter.com/lazerwalker/status/1290295203463487488?s=21 https://twitter.com/lazerwalker/status/1290295203463487488

Why are they even allowed to sell this stuff