chris evans characters ranked based on how much I trust them to water my plants while I’m away

a thread

1. andy barber (defending jacob)
would water my plants every day and even purchase a new one for me because he noticed it goes well with the rest of my interior

2. frank adler (gifted)
stops by every morning on his way to the docks to water them for me

3. steve rogers (the marvel cinematic universe)
the oath he took to serve and protect extends to my plants

4. nick vaughn (before we go)
very reliable at watering the plants but mainly because he’s being paid and needs the money for rent

5. colin shea (what’s your number)
would water my plants for me every time he uses my apartment to escape his one night stands so basically he waters them every day

6. kyle (the perfect score)
would ask if watering my plants counts as college credit but when I say no he still does it out of the kindness of his heart

7. hayden/harvard hottie (the nanny diaries)
got no complaints I trust him to do the job

8. mace (sunshine)
appreciates that plants are important to the survival of humans so would be constantly on edge about watering them on time it’s okay it’s just my garden it’s not that deep

9. paul diskrant (street kings)
would water my plants for me but honestly I don’t think I’m ready for him to bring his drama into my house I don’t need those vibes

10. ransom drysdale (knives out)
would pay somebody else to do it for him instead then take all of the credit but that’s okay at least the job is done

11. ryan (cellular)
can be forgiven if he forgets to water them for an entire 24 hours considering he’s out here saving lives

12. jimmy dobyne (the loss of a teardrop diamond)
would water my plants for an extortionate price I may as well just hire a gardener

13. nick gant (push)
doesn’t check them every day like I asked him to do but they still survive

14. jake jensen (the losers)
would definitely forget to water them but would replace the dead plants with replicas so I’d be oblivious

15. johnny storm (fantastic 4)
would try his best but there’s a very high chance he may accidentally set them on fire

16. mike weiss (puncture)
would water for a few days but then get so absorbed in work and his personal life that he’d forget

17. curtis everett (snowpiercer)
after surviving years on a diet of protein blocks and babies I’m worried he may choose to eat my plants

18. me (playing it cool)
forgets to water them and when I text him to ask why he’s let them die he responds with “my bad lol”

19. syd (london)
gets a little bit too fucked up and waters them with vodka instead

20. jake wyler (not another teen movie)
loses the key to my house within one hour of me giving it to him so the plants wither and die

21. bryce (fierce people)
would act like he did me a favour by letting the plants die

22. lucas lee (scott pilgrim vs the world)
wouldn’t even agree to water them for me he’d just laugh in my face and call me poor and untalented

23. mr freezy/robert pronge (the iceman)
would be too scared to even ask him to do the job for me because he’d probably bury dead bodies underneath the cabbage patch

UNRANKED: chris evans himself
that plant looks like it’s struggling but I’d still trust him with my life because he’s got me whipped